Saturday, October 07, 2023

Scale It Back - the reunion!

When I moved to Redditch, I had no idea it was the national hub of Star Wars figure collectors' events, but it is - a couple of times a year, a huge space in the Kingfisher Centre is dedicated to an astonishing volume of toys, costumes, exhibits and celebrity guests! The one today was particularly special, because the theme was Jabba's Palace!

Return of the Jedi was my Star Wars - it was the first of the films I saw, and the time when I first got into the world of toys, books, comics and all the Return of the Jedi merchandise flooding the shops in the early eighties! And obviously the coolest part of the film was Jabba and his palace full of fantastic monsters!

Which made it especially cool when, twelve years ago, I had the opportunity to star in the fantastic music video to Scale It Back, by DJ Shadow, and meet Toby Philpott, left arm of Jabba the Hutt! Most people who appeared in that video must have found it the strangest collection of costumes they'd ever seen gathered together in one place, but Toby, seen here at rehearsal with the monkey puppet, had a collection of much wilder experiences to tell us all about!


He was a guest at Jabba's Palace today, and I and my brother (memorably represented by a cardboard cut-out in the music video) went along and said hello. It was a great reunion, and maybe we should track down some of the other stars of that day! They should make action figures, in fact, and hold big collector fairs for them a few years later!

Monday, October 02, 2023

I'm now 76% English

 You might remember that DNA test I did last year, and the "Ethnicity Estimate" that it provided. Well, Ancestry have updated their estimating and provide a more accurate estimate of where my (as far as I know exclusively English) ancestors came from. So here's how I'm put together now!


I've lost 3% of Sweden/Denmark, and 4% of Scotland, with that whole seven percent of me now granted English citizenship. Give it another few years, maybe I'll entirely have made it into this country!


I've still got that 1% of Norway lurking in me somewhere, though...

Saturday, September 30, 2023

The complete September

 There, see, I told you I could do a blog post every day for a whole month!

Friday, September 29, 2023

Ghost monsters

 
The ghosts in Pac-Man aren't actually ghosts, they're just hiding under sheets. I've always called them ghosts, though, and don't intend to stop now. Anyway, more interesting than what they're called as a group, is what their individual names are...



The original Japanese version of the game gives them each a "character" and "nickname" (although Japanese, the game is all written in Roman alphabet, and all in English except these names), which seems to have caused a bit of confusion in the early years of Pac-Man - "character" is meant to mean a description of the ghost's personality or behaviour, not 'this is the name of the character'. They describe how the red one chases you, the pink one ambushes, the blue one is unpredictable, the orange one is... 'feigning ignorance' seems to be the agreed translation on the internet, I don't know. The "nicknames" are just based on the colours red, pink and blue, and the fourth is the slow one.
If you connect two points on the game's circuit board together, you can change the names to "English" ones, and you can just about see what they were going for - "urchin" in the sense of sticking to you, and so on.
But when the game came to America, they either didn't know about the "English" names or thought they were stupid, so they went in and changed them into all-new character/nickname combinations. Except Pinky.
And the person who had to go in and do the reprogramming at least noticed the alternate names, replacing them with placeholders presumably in case anyone wanted to come up with some alternatives. So, undocumented in the instructions, arcade owners outside Japan could still connect those two bits of the circuit board and show these names instead, if they really wanted to.










But the early guidebooks that soon flooded the market unanimously referred to the 'character' as the name of the ghost, as well as claiming that Pinky is the fastest (he actually isn't) and Clyde the slowest (again, not) and that Inky will run away from you (only sometimes). This one is particularly good, since it calls them Monsters, but gives alternatives of Ghosts, Zombies or Screw-Eyes. Never mind what I said at the start, I'm calling them Screw-Eyes from now on.

Thursday, September 28, 2023

I believe I can fly

 Or at least I could in a dream I had last night. Now, I fairly often dream that I can fly, but it's usually more a sort of long jump, running-in-the-air and not going down kind of thing. Last night was the proper Superman style of flying, albeit in a modest, low speed and velocity, kind of way. I should do that more often.

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Are you a student or a working professional?

 That's the header of an email I got today, urging people to sign up for the Microsoft Excel Collegiate Challenge if they fall into the first category, or the Microsoft Excel World Championship if they fall into the latter.

Now, while it's true that I am a working professional, I still feel like I'm entering the MEWC in my capacity as a weirdo who likes strange competitions. It's true that it sort of intersects with my professional working life, which admittedly does revolve around Microsoft Excel in a big way... but these competitions are FUN, not work! I personally advise everyone to give it a go, even if they're an idle amateur!

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

The missing Mildred

 Mrs Henry Wood seems to have named a lot of her novels after the first story hook she thought of, and then written a story to fill it out to the required length of a Victorian three-volume novel. Large parts of "Court Netherleigh" don't feature the eponymous residence or the people who live there at all. The title character of "Mrs Halliburton's Troubles" has resolved her troubles and subsided into a minor background role by the half-way point of the novel. "Bessy Rane" is a terrible title, since Bessy dies early on, and the reader is supposed to be surprised when it turns out much later that she wasn't dead at all.

But perhaps the greatest of these is "Mildred Arkell". You can see that Mrs Wood started with the basic idea of Mildred, disappointed in love, going away and returning many years later to save her niece from suffering the same fate. But this means that the title character departs from the plot quite early on, and is completely absent from the adventures of the book's many other characters until it's built to the final climax (many years later; it's a story of epic length). In fact, a fairly big part of the book is devoted to a set of largely unrelated characters who go on to continue their storyline in the later novel "St Martin's Eve", and the reader could be forgiven for entirely forgetting about Mildred.

If you'd picked up the second volume of the book, you'd find a couple of references to the title character - she sends occasional money to her hard-up brother, she's mentioned in passing in her cousin's reminiscences of younger days, but nothing to give the reader any real idea who she is or why the book's named after her. This is the only scene in volume 2 in which Mildred Arkell actually makes an appearance. And she contributes almost nothing to it:

She arrived in an afternoon at Mrs. Dundyke's, having come direct to London Bridge by the steamer from Rotterdam. Robert was out in London, as usual; but Mrs. Dundyke was not alone: Mildred Arkell was with her. Perhaps of all people, next to his wife, Mildred had been most shocked at the fate of Mr. Dundyke. This was the first time she had seen his widow, for she had been away in the country with Lady Dewsbury.

A young, pretty woman, looking little more than a girl, with violet-blue eyes, dark hair, and a flush upon her cheeks. Mrs. Dundyke marvelled at her youth—that she should be a wife since three years, and the mother of two children.

"I wrote to you to be sure to bring the children," said Mrs. Dundyke.

"I know: it was very kind. But I thought, as Robert was ill, they might disturb him with their noise. They are but babies; and I left them behind."

Mrs. Dundyke was considering how she could best impart the news of the suspected birth to this poor, unconscious young lady. "If you could give her a hint of it yourself, should she arrive during my absence!" Robert Carr had said to Mrs. Dundyke that very morning, with the hectic deepen[199]ing on his hollow cheeks. And Mrs. Dundyke began her task.

And a sad shock it proved to be. Mrs. Carr, accustomed to the legal formalities that attend a marriage in the country of her birth, and without which formalities the ceremony cannot be performed, could not for some time be led to understand how, if there was a marriage, it could have been kept a secret. There were many points difficult to make her, a foreigner, understand; but when she had mastered them, she grew strangely interested in the recital of the past, and Mildred Arkell, as a resident in Westerbury at the time, was called upon to repeat every little detail connected with the departure of her husband's father and mother from their native place. In listening, Mrs. Carr's cheek grew hectic as her husband's.


After that, she disappears into obscurity again.

Monday, September 25, 2023

Memory in Europe

The good old-fashioned International Standard memory competition that is the German Memory Championship is happening in October - details are here, and further to what's on that page, they have just announced that there will be cash prizes! 

🇪🇺- European Open

1. place 600 Euros + IAM trophy

2. place 400 Euros + trophy

3. place 250 Euros + trophy

4. place 100 Euros

5. place 100 Euros

6-10 place 50 Euros


 Having told the organisers that I can't come to the event due to lack of funds, I was quite impressed that they thought this might change my mind. Fifteen years ago, I would have gone there as a matter of course, fairly confidently expecting to take the first prize, and been pleased to cover some of the costs of travel and accommodation. Nowadays, though, I might not even make the top ten, depending on how many other competitors there are. If it's double figures, I've got no chance. 

 But I still wish I could be there, and hope it's a spectacular event for everyone who does go along!

Sunday, September 24, 2023

That was fun


Obviously, it's sometimes nice to watch an exciting, evenly-matched game of football on telly on a Sunday afternoon, but it's also entertaining to watch a comprehensive thrashing of an unbelievably bad team, once in a while. Honestly, how Sheffield Utd managed to be so hopeless is beyond me. Coming as I do from a proud Sheffield family of Wednesday fans, I should be jeering delightedly at the red-and-white section of the city, but I'm not really that excited by it.

Besides, it's the kind of game that gets people reaching for the history books, and the first stat that comes to anyone's mind is "Newcastle's best result since they beat Sheffield Wednesday 8-0 in 1999." I prefer "Joint second best league result in history for Newcastle, after a 13-0 win over Newport County in 1946" or "the first time the Blades have conceded eight goals in a league game since their 10-3 defeat by Middlesbrough in November 1933", as provided by the BBC website. It must be nice to be a contributing factor to that kind of statistic.

Saturday, September 23, 2023

It is too scientific to explain

 I'm really bad at explaining my clever thought processes. I'm trying to describe the optimum way to solve the puzzles from that maths contest back in May, but find it hard to phrase it better than "Well, I just sort of worked out that this is the answer."

It makes me sound like a bit of a fraud, but I can always take comfort from the fact that Superman would believe me, as shown in Action Comics #236, in 1957:

The scientist is, of course, Lex Luthor in disguise, but Superman isn't at all suspicious of his motives.

Friday, September 22, 2023

Jabba the Hutt is coming to town

 Redditch is the premier venue for Star Wars figure collectors, you know. There's a big festival here a couple of times a year, and the theme of the latest one is particularly cool - Jabba's Palace! Just look at this guest list! I'll certainly be there on October 7th!


You have to be my exact age to appreciate how cool Return of the Jedi, and particularly Jabba and his monsters in their toy incarnations, were! We had the Jabba playset, Sy Snootles and the Rebo Band, the Rancor Monster and indeed the mail-away offer Rancor Keeper, who'll be there to sign autographs in a fortnight! Return of the Jedi was actually the best and coolest Star Wars film, despite what anyone says.

Thursday, September 21, 2023

Nothing But Eyes

 I've had this book of poems since time immemorial. The title is a little creepy...

And it comes from this poem, translated from the Japanese by someone who cares nothing for preserving the rules of haikus.


But it's this squirrel-themed page that particularly interests me - I really like squirrels, and wholeheartedly agree with William Butler Yeats (except perhaps for his rhyming 'do' with 'go'.


But this Humbert Wolfe person is just horrid! Grey squirrels are great, and much maligned. I should write a poem about Humbert Wolfe killing trees, eating his relatives and being shot. See how he likes it!

Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Twenty in a row

 This whole 'daily blog' thing is going very well, although I do seem to be running short of things to write about...

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

What the L?

 I would never dream of listening to Radio 1 normally. It's for dreadful young people who listen to awful modern music. But having got a lift today with someone who listens to it, I was actually quite impressed. Not only is "I Used To Be Young" by Miley Cyrus really quite catchy, but one of the presenters on the afternoon show (who may or may not be called Vick, but I had to look it up) came out with some great trivia that I didn't know!

There are only five countries in the world that end with L, you know. And (having been provided with Nepal as the one which prompted this apparently unscripted challenge) I did manage to think of them by the end of the song they played, though it was a close-run thing. I won't spoil it for you if you want to try it yourself, but the coolest thing about these five countries is that they're all a hugely long way away from each other! If you live in a country that ends with L, you're well over a thousand miles away from any other country that ends with L! I think that's very cool, and I might have to listen to awful radio stations more often now.

Monday, September 18, 2023

Yellow Cliffjumper


 I think that a blog post looks better if there's a picture to illustrate it. So here's a yellow Cliffjumper, showing Transformers comic readers what they can win if they just send their name and address on the back of a postcard or sealed envelope. Although you'll need to go back to 1984 if you want to do that.

Looking at the descriptions of the mini-Autobots, I'm not sure in what way "force" is an attribute of Windcharger's. I can see how his speed and magnetic arms can come in handy in all kinds of ways, but force is more of an ambiguous quality.

Sunday, September 17, 2023

Simple maths

 Far too many people in the world have no idea what to do if you ask them what's fifty-three times forty-seven. Anyone who can't say "two thousand, four hundred and ninety-one" after a couple of seconds' thought is missing the very basic trick that can make people think you're some kind of genius.

Everyone probably did learn at school that (x+y)(x-y)=x²-y², but they don't know that it has practical applications far beyond getting the right answer in an algebra test and then forgetting it forever. It means that if you want to multiply something that's a bit more than a nice round number, by something that's the same bit less than that nice round number, the answer is the nice round number times the nice round number, minus the bit times the bit.

So while 53x47 sounds like you'd have to get a pencil and paper and try to remember how to do long multiplication, it's actually just 3 times 3 (which everyone knows) less than 50 times 50 (which nearly everyone knows; but if you don't, it's just five times five and then add the two noughts on to the end). So it's 2500 minus 9, and it's not too much of a strain to see that that makes 2491.

Try it with other numbers, and check it on your calculator if you don't believe me. Then you'll be able to show off the next time a strange man is roaming the streets asking "What's seventy-two times sixty-eight?" and jeering at anyone who doesn't know.

Saturday, September 16, 2023

Suggestions

I have a friend over on the sofa right now suggesting things I could write in my blog today. But now he's talking about how he always chooses yellow pieces when playing a board game, and that very few people do that. Which is true - you get a lot more red, blue and green fans, probably. I think yellow is an intelligent kind of colour, and I'll choose it the next time I play ludo.

Also, did you know there's such a thing as F-Zero 99? The new and exciting multi-player game on the Switch? It's going to become a new addiction, I think!

Friday, September 15, 2023

More literature

 I'm currently re-reading "Rose Madder", one of the many Stephen King books on my shelves. I do love his writings. This one, though, I always feel slightly unsatisfied with, just because I see it as a perfect example of a story that would be better without all the supernatural stuff.

Without throwing out too many spoilers for people who'd take the above paragraph as a recommendation to go out and read it, the book tells the story of Rose who a fair way into the story buys a painting which seems to have magical properties. A couple of little moments of the painting seeming to be a bit magical come and go, and then (well past the half-way point of the novel) Rose goes into the painting and has an adventure. And all I'm thinking at this point is "when is she going to come out of the painting and get back to the real story?"

In a foreword to one of his short stories somewhere, Stephen King has a little grumble that there wasn't a movie adaptation of Rose Madder, and I personally think they could make a good movie of it - if they cut out the whole thing with the painting. Drop it completely and make the rest of the book into a thriller!

It might be just me, though. One book I can never get enough of is "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay" by Michael Chabon, and I really just read that one for Sam Clay. I can almost skip the more outlandish adventures of Joe Kavalier; I'm gripped by Sam's unexceptional everyday life. I'm obviously the kind of reader who wants his books to be as boring as possible. Writers should try to cater for this kind of audience!

Thursday, September 14, 2023

Memory League sign-up time!

 The 19th season of Memory League is getting underway soon - registration is open now and ends on September 20th, so get yourself signed up here

It's great fun, whether you're a beginner or an old-timer, so join the excitement! If you end up competing against me, you'll probably win - I'm just hopeless these days.

Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Literary studies

 Facing a long train journey recently, with nothing to read and a terminally low battery on my phone, I went into a nearby charity shop to pick up a book, and settled on Moll Flanders. I'd never read it, but heard historically good things. The old man behind the counter said "Moll Flanders, eh?" with a sort of suggestive leer, and I agreed that maybe it's a bit too racy to read in public, but decided to flaunt it anyway.

It turns out it really is a very good book, and only minimally scandalous. You can see why it's stood the test of time! The wide availability of classic novels for cheap or free is one of the great things about our modern time, you know.