Thursday, August 14, 2008

Do you love anyone enough?

I had a sudden craving for a tube of rolos at work today. There are numerous little shops, cafes and snack machines in the head office building where I work (it's huge), but none of them had any rolos for sale. I bought a tube of fruit pastilles instead, because even though they're entirely unlike rolos in every way, at least they're round.

I still want rolos. I should have gone out to the shops tonight and got some. Oh well, I'll get some tomorrow and eat them on the way to London. I haven't had rolos for years! It'll make the whole weekend worthwhile - much more so than winning the UK Memory Championship will!

Also, pay attention, all ex-VPS people reading this (and the ex-VPS people are the only people who'll still be reading after two paragraphs about rolos). We're (that is Tish, Gilly, Crispy, me and others) planning a trip to Alton Towers in October! Come along and join us!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This Morning Without Richard And Judy

I might be on This Morning again, if they want me on one of the days I've already got booked off work, to tie in with Superhuman Genius. I feel like that might be insulting to Richard and Judy, actually, seeing as they used to be on This Morning until either it dumped them or they dumped it (I don't read the gossip magazines, but I'm sure there was some kind of scandalous story behind it) and I turned them down (or at least turned down the Tony Buzan publicity person who asked me if I wanted to be on their show) last week.

Still, it'll be interesting to see whether Phil and Fern (assuming they still present This Morning) remember me.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a Superhuman Genius!

Woo! I got my picture in the Radio Times this time! And an implication that I'm among "the planet's most talented people"! Well, that might not necessarily include me, but hey, I got the picture box! Kim Peek? Hah, just not photogenic enough! Those various child prodigies? Nope, let's go with the memory man in the cool hat!

Actually, I think next Monday is beardy-weirdy day in the Radio Times. Channel 4's picture-slot goes to Rowan Williams, who apparently has fascinating things to say about Charles Darwin, whereas BBC2 has a picture of the Hairy Bikers, who in a move worthy of the title Superhuman Genius have renamed themselves the Hairy Bakers in order to do a programme about bread.

I'm told that last night's "Superhuman: The World's Smallest People" got an audience of 4.4 million, so we need to beat that in order to prove that the world is less interested in freakshow TV than it is in freakshow TV about clever people. I'm sure we can do it - there have been about seventeen different freakshow TV shows about small people lately, and there hasn't been a good genius-themed freakshow since "The Mentalists". So tell all your friends and relatives and nodding-acquaintances to watch next Monday, ITV, 9pm!

And don't listen if they say they want to watch "New Tricks" because they fancy Dennis Waterman, or "Dragons' Den" because they want to see clever people who've actually achieved something in life, or "Before They Were Stars", the Channel 5 programme that is apparently no relation to the BBC's "Before They Were Famous" because they're too stupid to comprehend any more highbrow entertainment. Order them to watch ITV instead. Steal their remote controls.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Nudity is wonderful

But nonetheless, I think I need to buy some clothes. Next Wednesday our department is doing a "Business in the Community" project and renovating a community centre rather than going to work, and, well, I haven't got a thing to wear.

I actually only own two pairs of trousers that are suitable for leaving the house in without being arrested for indecent exposure, and they're my smart black work trousers. All the other trousers I own have got broken zips or big holes in the crotch or upper thighs, and I don't really want to dress like that while I'm helping to build a sandpit in the creche area. Likewise, my only footwear is my work shoes and my trainers with essentially no soles left to them, and neither of those is really suitable if it's rainy and muddy.

In fact, all in all, I'm terribly ill-equipped for the Great Outdoors. I need to take up rambling, in the walking sense rather than the drivelly blogging sense, or mountain climbing, or fox hunting, or anything that'll get me out of the house and incurring a grass stain or two. I used to be a cub, I bet if you dumped me in the middle of a forest I could still find my way out by reference to the side of trees that the moss is growing on, rubbing two sticks together, that kind of thing. I can just see me, swinging from tree to tree, clad in loincloth made from leaves and exchanging pleasantries with the squirrels...

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Memory, all alone in the moonlight...

Why is that song playing in my brain tonight? Yes, I've been thinking about memory and related subjects, but that's not really something new for me, now is it? I would have thought my brain's resident DJ would have learnt to tune out any memory-related thoughts by now.

Anyway, I'm trying not to think too much about memory for the next week. Give my journeys and images a few days' rest so that they're fresh for next Saturday and Sunday - not that next weekend's competition is a major strain on the brain, being spread out over two days and only being one normal-memory-competition day's worth of memorising. Still, it might turn out to be more stressful and hard work, with a 20-hour gap between one discipline and the next. We'll have to wait and see what happens.

I don't remember whether I've mentioned this here before (and I'm resting my memory, so I don't care that I can't remember), but after the championship finishes on the Sunday morning I'm going to dash over to the Royal Horticultural Halls to play othello at the MSO in the afternoon. That's if the memory doesn't overrun by more than an hour or so, but I think it should be safe. It would be nice to play in the evening poker tournaments at the MSO too, but they cost quite a lot of money to enter if you're doing them individually - they're really just there for the people who pay the maximum fee, whatever it is these days, to play other events all week and want to relax in the evenings. I suppose I could sneak down to the poker rooms and hope that everyone there will recognise me and naturally assume I've paid to enter, but on the other hand I've written about it on my blog now so everyone will know that I haven't. Blast this internet thing, publishing my personal details for the world to see. It's a shocking invasion of privacy and I'm going to sue someone.