Saturday, August 21, 2010

Pearly, where's your milk-white skin?

I think I'm getting wrinkles around my eyes. What with that and the white hair that pretty much dominates my beard nowadays, it's increasingly hard to convince myself I'm still youthful and devastatingly handsome.

This is the kind of thing that concerns me mostly when there's someone coming to take photos of me tomorrow. I'm not sure what for, some kind of news article most probably. But I'm going to look fat and bald and old and hideous, you can rest assured.

Friday, August 20, 2010

And now the news

I'm back, or at least I'm back in a non-cohabiting kind of situation where I don't need to worry about being a bad host by sitting here writing my blog while my house-guest is hanging around. And I felt that several of the news headlines you get shown when you log into Yahoo mail were interesting enough to blog about. Mainly because the only people who've been commenting here lately are the type who just read my blog for memory tips, and I wanted to annoy them.

But "Brigade in industrial action ballot" is a weird one. I mean, can't we specify which brigade we're talking about? I'm sure they've got number-of-characters limits, but they could have substituted 'strike' for 'industrial action'. Because if it's the fire brigade then yes, I can see how that might be a bad thing. If it's the Boys' Brigade, then they can feel free to go on strike as far as I'm concerned. If it's the Teen Brigade, the fictional group of teenage American radio hams who appeared in Marvel comics in the early sixties, then quite frankly the world would probably be better off if they went on strike.

And "May authorises marches ban in city" is really quite groovy, because it has two different months in it, and because however many times I read it I find myself automatically thinking it's the verb 'may' instead of Theresa, and getting confused trying to make sense of the rest of it.

And as for "Cenotaph outrage woman flees court", I just find myself wondering what that story was and why I didn't hear about the cenotaph outrage when it first happened. And thinking that "Cenotaph Outrage Woman" would make a great name for a supervillainess. Much better than "Bigot Woman".

"Students scramble for university places" is a rubbish headline though. For one thing they use exactly the same headline, and story, every year, and for another thing only idiots go to university. Posh, wealthy idiots for the most part. There should be a law against it. So if you've found this blog because you googled 'memory tips for university' or something like that, then go on, bog off and get a real job, you'll get no advice from me.