Everybody got the pre-season Premier League predictions so totally wrong last year, I can safely do my own soothsaying act without fear of looking any more stupid. And since last season proved that anything can happen and probably will, as long as it's totally unexpected...
1. Bournemouth - hey, if Leicester can do it, why not?
2. Liverpool - no Europe to distract them, it'll be another good year that they'll make a mess of at the end.
3. Man City - splashing out lots of money without any concrete plan in mind is good enough for third place.
4. Leicester - see, nobody's expecting them to get into the Champions League again, but they'll do it anyway.
5. Southampton - 8th, 7th, 6th the last three seasons, and I know a pattern when I see one.
6. Tottenham - a disappointing season always follows a good one, but the silver lining is...
7. Arsenal - people have been expecting the mythical 'bad season for Arsenal' for so long, it might take us by surprise when it actually happens.
8. West Brom - due for a good year.
9. Burnley - the newly-promoted side who'll do better than expected.
10. Swansea - safe but boring season.
11. Watford - settling down to a role as the mid-table team.
12. Chelsea - it'll be a confident start followed by a calamitous crash, this time.
13. West Ham - caught up in a Europa League campaign, their league form suffers.
14. Stoke - flirting with relegation most of the season, they pick up at the end.
15. Man Utd - headline-grabbing disaster, all season long!
16. Middlesbrough - just about stay out of danger all year.
17. Sunderland - it's traditional now, under 40 points but staying up.
18. Everton - they've lost their way quite a bit of late, but this year's results will be unexpectedly terrible and down they go.
19. Crystal Palace - never look like being in it.
20. Hull - even worse than Palace.
Wonder what kind of odds I could get on that?