The Top Ten Club

You know, it just occurred to me at lunchtime TODAY that Hamburg is where the Beatles played in their younger days. That thought never crossed my mind before, during or after my own trip to Hamburg last week. I could have gone on a tour. Not to mention all the Beatles-themed blog titles I could have used! Ah, wasted opportunities, and all because of my bad memory. Still, at least I get to use a very appropriate title for a blog about the world rankings...

The movers and shakers in the top ten of international memory after Hamburg are Simon, who moves up to third place, and Boris, who's now number eight. The world's coolest people are now as follows:

1 Me
2 Gunther
3 Simon
4 Clemens
5 Hannes
6 Astrid
7 Cornelia
8 Boris
9 Joachim
10 Andi

Check out that enormous gang of Germans (plus a couple of hopefully-temporarily retired Austrians) chasing me! Poor Andi's nearly followed Dominic out of the top ten - maybe that will motivate him to really try to win the world championship again this year, but we really do need more British people to help me out here.

But still, I can't believe I didn't think about the Beatles connection. I had the whole day to myself in Hamburg on Sunday, in order to get the cheapest flights, and since all the shops in Germany are closed on Sundays (what is this, the time of Charlemagne?) I had to spend it hanging around the Hauptbahnhof shopping centre, touring the various ancient and beautiful buildings (I'll admit that the Rathaus is absolutely awesome), listening to a lot of really good street musicians (especially one particularly talented xylophonist) and watching the ladybirds. Hamburg is absolutely full of ladybirds. In my quest to improve my German, one word at a time, I just looked up 'ladybird' and found that it's 'Marienkäfer'. Which I did actually know at one point. Also, the word is neuter and not feminine like I would have expected.

As well as having shops that were open on Sunday, the train station also had handy left-luggage lockers, which was a good thing because I didn't fancy carrying my bag around with me all day. As I always do at these things, I'd crammed my little rucksack to its maximum capacity with clothes, books, cards, timers and so on on the way out, not considering that I might come home with a big trophy, a Nintendo DS and other goodies. I had to fit everything I could into the bag and force everything left over (about a dozen packs of cards, the DS (removed from its box), instructions and games) into the pockets of my jacket in order to get onto the plane without paying for an extra bag.

I haven't mentioned my jacket yet, have I? I was wearing a rather groovy black and white jacket that I bought in a charity shop about ten years ago, never wore and recently rediscovered among my old clothes. So I've been wearing it for the last couple of weeks to see if it looks cool, before deciding whether or not to give it to another charity shop and let someone else leave it in their wardrobe for ten years. But actually, I think it does look cool, and Tony Buzan agreed. And Tony does have quite genuinely the greatest taste in clothes of anybody I know, so I think I'm going to keep wearing the jacket. Even though it's a little bit too small for me and it's too hot when the weather's nice.

Speaking of Tony, and speaking of speaking, his speech at the closing ceremony was shorter and used less needlessly complicated words and ideas than at the opening. I'm sure the members of the audience who don't speak perfect English were grateful. Regular memory-competition attendees will be interested to know that he informed us all that in 1994, scientists said that nobody would ever be able to remember a 30-digit spoken number. He also mentioned a few things of interest to memorisers (actually, he told me these things the day before and asked me not to tell anyone or blog about it, but since he then repeated everything so publicly, I assume I'm not under any obligation to keep it secret any more...)

Firstly, he said that the world championship moving from Bahrain was because the sponsor had had financial difficulties - and then added as an afterthought that there had been riots in Bahrain too, which came a bit closer to the official explanation published on the world championship website.

Secondly, he said at great length that the Chinese are very keen to become the top memory-country in the world, and also very keen to host the world championship in 2010. Indeed, they're shortly flying Tony and Ray Keene out to China for a week to "inspect the site". It's sounding like we might really be having a WMC in China somewhere in the near future (although we've been hearing that for five years at least, without it actually happening yet). I think it might be fun, it's only fair to circulate the competition around the world now that it's such an international thing. And provided it's organised by individuals who happen to be Chinese, and that Tony's suggestion that the Chinese government is eager to be heavily involved is just the usual exaggerations, I won't have to boycott the championship for political reasons. That would really be annoying.

Okay, I'm fairly sure that's everything I've got to say about the German Memory Championship 2009. More interesting subjects (or at any rate slightly different subjects, like the World Othello Championship and the Mind Sports Olympiad) will resume tomorrow.

I actually didn't eat a single hamburger while I was there

Well, people have suggested things I could mention about my trip to Hamburg, and my brain has thrown out a few more bits and pieces I'd forgotten about, so here goes with the further German Memory Championship adventures of Zoomy!

I mentioned the scores being read out yesterday, but what I didn't mention is that all the score announcements came with a really groovy and hi-tech animated powerpoint display! It was extremely cool, and a real step up from anything we've seen before at a memory championship. I'd congratulate the person who created and ran it, if only I knew who it was. There was a young man who worked the computer who I never got a chance to say hello to, and I assume he was responsible. I'll make sure to thank him at the next competition, before I get caught up in all the memorising...

Also super-hi-tech and more so than any competition we've had before was Florian Dellé's live blogging of the competition (while he was taking part in it! He got some great scores considering he finished his recall quickly enough to run around with a camera filming the people who were still busy remembering), assisted by Dai Griffiths. You can read all about it here, as well as his review complete with scores of all the disciplines. You can even click on the scores to sort them by overall ranking, individual discipline scores, names, anything you want! What an age we live in.

Dai mentioned that I was doing my weird rolling-pupils-into-head-leaving-scary-white-eyeballs thing again. I don't know if Dai had some kind of video link or if he was just guessing, back in Wales, but I really have no idea I'm doing that. As far as I'm aware, I've got my eyes closed while I'm recalling...

Let's talk about the competition room some more, too - it was spacious and pleasant, there was ample supply of water (albeit the fizzy kind that you always get in Germany - ask for still water and they'll look at you like you're some kind of lunatic) and the only real drawback was that it started to smell a bit funky by the end of the championship. Memorising things is sweaty work, and we had to keep the windows closed a lot of the time because of the noise of trains outside. Still, you got used to it quickly enough.

Boris raised an interesting point in an email today - is the room in Simpson's-on-the-Strand big enough for the world championships? At least twenty Germans have said they'd come, I would hope there'll be up to a dozen British competitors, hopefully a whole load of Chinese and other assorted foreigners. Last time the world championship was held there, back in 2002, there were only 24 competitors, and as I recall there wasn't all that much empty space. Last year at the UK championship, there were 22 and we were fairly close together. I'm not sure if we really could fit twice as many people into that room. We'll just have to see, I suppose. Maybe we can spread out into the hallway.

But back to Germany, the first event of the second day was Historic Dates, and for the first time in German Championship history they provided English translations! It's official, memory championships are now an international sport! What's more, Gaby was kind enough to give all her announcements in German and English, for the benefit of me and the one other non-German competitor Rick de Jong. I very much appreciated it, because I'll admit I had a lot of difficulty following the discussion about the 30-minute cards.

Because some packs weren't shuffled, some people got worse scores than they otherwise might have, whereas other people (like me and Simon) were unaffected. It was suggested that for the purposes of the German Championship, the 30-minute cards shouldn't be counted. It eventually was decided that it would count after all, because otherwise the scores would have changed. I might have missed something in Klaus's logic there, though. Anyway, I wasn't all that interested - I tend to ignore the inevitable quibbles about the rules and scoring when I get involved in a competition and just agree with whoever asks me to agree with them if they try to drag me into an argument.

Where was I? Historic dates! It didn't go quite as swimmingly for me as it usually does, I only got through about 100 of the 120 dates-and-event-descriptions by the end of the five minutes, when I normally get up to about 110 or even more. Hannes, apparently, got right to the end with a minute or so to spare - I don't know how he does it, I thought I was the quickest memoriser in town. But, for the first time in quite a long while, I ended up with a higher score than him - 81 compared to 78!

That left me nearly 900 points in the lead after four disciplines, ahead of Hannes and Simon neck-and-neck in second, with Cornelia just behind them. Cornelia actually had a bit of a quiet competition by her standards, coming up with lots of good results, but nothing absolutely spectacular. I'm sure she'll be back for more next time - with the WMC being in London rather than Bahrain, she'll probably be there this year, too.

But back to the scores, by lunchtime, when we'd heard the results from the first four disciplines, people were starting to talk as if I'd already won, much to my annoyance. I knew that I hadn't got very good scores in the disciplines that followed, you see.

Spoken numbers (in German, but that's not too big a problem for me), was frustrating. You only score up to your first mistake in this one (with the best score from three attempts counting) and I kept making little mistakes. I ended up with a score of 50, while Simon ended up with a very cool 135 and Boris started out a succession of great results in his best disciplines with a 100.

Abstract images, meanwhile, I was expecting something good. After years of moaning that it's a stupid discipline that should be got rid of, and hoping somebody will listen to me and scrap it, I've recently started seriously training for it. My argument that the only way to do well in it is by coding the background patterns, which turns it into another numbers-style discipline, took a bit of a blow when Boris mentioned that he doesn't do that, and he won the event comfortably (as he always does in the absence of Gunther). But my system and training paid off, and I ended up with a perfect 225. By the world championship, I'm aiming to get 300. And then I'll insist even more strongly that they scrap the stupid event once and for all!

Names and faces, on the other hand, I'm still resigned to never being any good at. Especially when the names are all German, although that's not much of an excuse. Suffice to say that I got a pretty bad score, while Boris broke the world record (held for many years by Clemens Mayer), while Simon and Hannes continued to gain ground steadily on me.

The real disaster for me, though, was speed numbers. Two trials to memorise as much as possible in five minutes, with the best score counting, and I started as always by attempting a 'safe' 360, only to have little gaps in my recall here and there and end up with a score of 234. There was a time when that would be one of the top scores, and anything over 300 was practically unhead-of, but those days are long-gone. I knew I'd have to do better in the second attempt, and tried for 400, only to end up with a miserable 240 (and I was lucky to get that - my recall was very patchy and I had a lot of gaps to fill in with best-guesses that I wasn't entirely certain about). It was tiredness, I think - I'm still not in top competition fitness, and two solid days of memorising drains my brain power. Hannes won comfortably with 362, and I was just glad he didn't get more than that. But Simon's 296 was enough to push him fractionally into the overall lead ahead of me, and this is the point where I really started to feel that everything was slipping away from me.

And it certainly didn't get any better with the penultimate discipline, random words. I was trying for a safe-ish score of 180 or so, but my memorising just wasn't quite clear enough, and this is a discipline that can really punish a few little gaps in the memory. I don't practice words enough, and I'm going to have to knuckle down on that in future. Long story short, I ended up with a miserable score of 100, Boris broke another world record with 280, Simon had 229 and Johannes 222.

The competition was running behind schedule (as memory competitions always, without exception, do) and Klaus suggested that we start the speed cards before the scores of the random words were announced. Everybody insisted that we stick with tradition and know exactly what the scores were before we got started - it really is important, because there are complicated calculations to be made about exactly what times to attempt in everybody's favourite final discipline. So there was a lot of time for me to pace around like a caged tiger, fretting that I was going to lose the competition that I'd been winning so comfortably half-way through. When we finally got the confirmed scores, they looked like this:

Simon 7128.3
Hannes 6635.8
Me 6608.6
Boris 6218.3
Cornelia 5987.2

With the rest of the chasing pack, headed by Dennis, too far behind to catch up. But with a lead of 520 points, Simon was going to be next to impossible for me to catch. I was racked with indecision - Florian asked me if I was going to go for a fast time or a safe slow one, so he'd know whether to set up a camera to film me or not, and I replied (about a minute before we had to start memorising) "I don't know!"

I had three choices - a safe 1-minute pack in the first trial to at least guarantee 3rd place, probably, followed by an attempt at a fast one; a sort of semi-fast one of 30 seconds or so, which is something I've experimented with but I'm still not confident that it's more reliable than just going as fast as I can; or just going as fast as I can and really throwing down the gauntlet to Simon and the others.

Actually, as we started to memorise, I was still planning on option 2, and I didn't make an effort to go particularly fast. But the images slotted into place very quickly and easily, I sped up, and I stopped the clock at 24.97 seconds in the end.

I think I might have stopped the clock a bit noisily, so I do apologise for that - Jürgen had asked that people not do that, just before the memorising started, but it's hard to remember etiquette when the adrenaline starts flowing.

Thinking through the journey while waiting for the five minutes' memorisation time to be over, I was extremely surprised to realise that I had remembered it all very well. I only had a few gaps to fill in, and when I came to put together the unshuffled pack in the recall time, I was able to fill in all the gaps with minimal difficulty. The only thing I was a little worried about was the exact order of a couple of sequences of images - I was about 90% confident that they were right, but I much prefer to be 100%. It's better for my blood pressure.

I insisted on someone checking my results straight away, despite people flapping around with cameras and saying wait, wait, just a moment. And I got extremely excited when it was eventually confirmed that I really had broken the world record, and bellowed "YES!" at top volume, scaring everybody else in the room (again, apologies. It's exciting.)

After a certain amount of skipping around the room, high-fiving everybody and bowing to the applause, I went to see what everybody else had done. Simon had done a super-extra-safe 1 minute 43 seconds or thereabouts, Hannes had had mistakes in his recall. You get 1200 championship points for a 25-second pack (not something that had ever happened before, of course), but that still didn't leave me in a safe position. Simon needed a time of what I estimated at 50 seconds or so in the second trial to win the championship (although now that I sit down and think about it more clearly, it was actually more like 44 seconds). And Simon is of course the other person who's done a pack in under 30 seconds in competition before now. My only consolation is that he's only done it once, and he just barely got the recall done in time, and we were now at the end of a much longer and more exciting competition with infinitely more pressure on him. But since it's terrible sportsmanship to wish failure on someone else, I put all thoughts of that out of my mind and tried to do an even faster time in trial 2.

That was a complete and total disaster - my mind was still buzzing too much and I didn't come anywhere near remembering it properly. I even had some trouble passing the cards between my fingers, and even though I was trying to go as fast as possible, I only stopped the clock at 23.33. But never mind, one world record is enough for me, especially if it's a speed cards one.

Simon, in the end, just did a time of 65 seconds, making sure of winning the German championship and coming second in the German Memo Open, while Hannes tried for a fast time but didn't get it right. Boris's 74.78 seconds rounded off a really good championship for him, but was just barely not quite enough to catch Hannes in the final rankings. Cornelia was fifth, then there was a big gap down to Dennis and Jürgen, then an excellent eighth place for another newcomer Fabian Saal, then Simone Nicklas and Florian rounding out the top ten (he's also got my speed cards performance on film - look out for it on the memory-sports.com website!)

So then we all scurried over to the main building lecture room for the prizegiving ceremony and memory-show (there's always a big show at the German championship in the evening - it starred Ramon Campayo breaking a speed-memory record, and the really absolutely awesome Jens der Denker, who I've seen before but is still quite sensational). Every competitor in the adult, junior and kids competitions (actually, we don't seem to be saying 'kids' any more, it's Junior Group II) came up on stage one at a time to get a certificate, round of applause, and photo. For the record, Dorothea and Konstantin won the Junior I and Junior II competitions, as expected, but they were up against some tough opposition. If only we could get young people in Britain to take some kind of interest in memory sports too.

There were, as is also always the case at the German championships, lots of trophies too. Trophies for first, second and third in each championship (Junior I, Junior II, German Adults and German Memo Open) AND big trophies for the winner of each one (except the Memo Open, which I don't have a problem with at all, really). So Simon ended up with three trophies to take home - 2nd place in the GMO, 1st place in the DGM, and the gigantic German Championship trophy. I think they gave the kids' trophies to the adults and vice versa, but I'm sure it got sorted out in the end.

Fabian, who's about nine feet tall, caused some amusement trying to pose for his photo without obscuring the prizegivers (Klaus, Tony and Silja Nintendo), and there were plenty of laughs as usual when the winners of each championship were handed, one by one, far more prizes than they could possibly carry. Nintendo were very generous - I've got a DS! I'll have to buy an adaptor so I can plug the German plug into my English sockets, but still, a DS! Groovy! And two brain-training games, in German! I might have to buy some more games instead. And I pocketed €700, which equates to £557.97, thanks to the weak pound and strong euro. I like the point-nine-seven theme I've got going here too.

So that's the German Championship, and woohoo, I won! But I was lucky to win. I'm really not going to win the world championship unless I improve on that performance - the days are gone when I could accept bad scores in a few disciplines and rely on good results in the others to carry me through. I need to improve my all-round performance, or the likes of Simon, Hannes, Gunther, Cornelia, Boris, Dennis and even a few non-Germans will eat me alive in London in November.

Still, that makes six consecutive memory championships I've entered and won - one short of Clemens's record. It really would be nice to break that record by winning the UK and World championships (assuming I don't go to Sweden or France, if the latter is even still happening - I haven't heard anything about it for ages, and I'm still not sure whether I can manage a trip to Sweden or not). But then, Simon was the one to end Clemens's run, which might be a bad omen considering how close he came to beating me this time.

However, I promise that as and when I do end up losing a memory competition again, I won't 'do a Clemens' and disappear forever! I'm looking forward to the days when I'm not the favourite for every championship I enter - it's a lot more fun to be the underdog.

There aren't enough hamburger-puns

Plenty of hamburger-buns, but not hamburger-puns. I'll just have to use non-Hamburg-themed blog titles in future. Anyway, when I left off my last blog, we were just about to start the competition. Everybody had changed into their official competition T-shirts (really cool ones, too, with German-flag collars and sleeve-ends) and found their way to the competition room (spacious and quiet, whenever there wasn't a train coming in to the station next door) and sat down to kick off the event with 30-minute numbers.

The German championship is uniquely arduous in having the three 30-minute disciplines all in a row, from 2pm until 8pm at night. It's seriously draining. But the first one, at least, went okay. I had experimented with attempting seven journeys' worth of numbers, 1638 digits, but without much success. So I just went for six journeys, 1404 (plus an extra nine for good luck when I had a few seconds left at the end), and seemed to remember most of it okay.

Gaby Kappus, who I don't think I've mentioned yet, was sharing the master-of-ceremonies role with Klaus and also acting as 'ombudsman', checking competitors' scores if they didn't believe them. Actually, all the scoring seemed to be done extremely well, by a team of arbiters who clearly knew what they were doing. I should really have found out their names and/or thanked them, but I never remember to do that until it's too late. I get so wrapped up in memorising things, you see.

However, it takes time to mark all those papers, so we set off onto discipline two, 30-minute cards, without knowing how the first one had gone. I was attempting 18 packs here, more than anyone else, and I can normally do that many and get the recall more or less okay. But this time round, I really struggled with the recall, having to cross things out and start again on three different packs. I ran out of recall time and so I knew I'd got 15 at most, even if I hadn't made any silly mistakes along the way.

There were some problems with the cards, apparently some of them weren't shuffled properly. This kind of thing does happen occasionally, however careful the organisers are - I always bring my own pre-shuffled cards with me, ever since the same thing happened to me at the world championships in 2005. That way even if nobody remembers to shuffle the cards, I won't notice. I suppose I could also try memorising my cards in advance and just hoping someone forgets to shuffle them, but I think that sounds like more hassle than just winning fair and square.

Anyway, Tony then read out the results of the 30-minute cards (or the Zahlenmarathon, as they call it over there - all the events have cool German names) in reverse order. I'd got 1193, which would have been a new world record if not for the fact that Hannes got 1264. Drat it, he did the same thing to me in the historic dates at the world championship last year, too. Still, that was a pretty good start to the competition. One more marathon before the end of the day - binary digits, at which I'm generally better than anyone else. But what with the long day of long-distance memorising, I was never going to break any records there. Still, it all went fairly well, and I went back to the hotel pretty satisfied with the first day's competition.

As we found out the next day, I'd got 14 packs right in the cards and 3610 in the binary - not world record standard, but enough to give me about 700 points lead ahead of a closely-packed chasing group of Simon, Hannes and Cornelia.

You know, that account has practically put me to sleep, I don't know why I'm sharing it with the world as if you'd be interested. I'll continue tomorrow, if I can think of a way to make it more interesting...

A few more hamburgery morsels

I forgot to mention that after the press conference I did a quick interview with people who I think were from the local TV news, in which I think I explained the systems we used and asserted that anybody can do it. Although since the conversation was conducted in German, quite frankly I could have been talking about octopuses juggling goldfish for all I know. The interviewer was very nice, but she did cut short the list of questions she'd said she was going to ask me, and I doubt that my incoherent stumbling responses ended up making it onto the telly.

I also forgot to give credit or even a namecheck to Frank Miltner, who's another of those people who does all the work of running the German championships and doesn't ever seem to get a mention in ungrateful competitors' blogs. He compered the opening ceremony and at one point asked me a question in English that I still failed to understand. Possibly it's all languages that I have a problem with, not just German.

Hamburglar

I'm home again from Hamburg - actually, I got in at about one o'clock in the morning after a late-night flight, but I'd sensibly booked a day's holiday for today, so I get to catch up on my sleep and blogging rather than going to work. And wow, that was a fantastic German Memory Championship! I'll blog it in installments, just to keep the suspense going and also because I'm much too tired to write up the whole thing today.

I flew in around lunchtime on Thursday (with FlyBe, who I've never used before but are cheap and perfectly nice, so I'll probably use them again) and found that finding the venue and my hotel was extremely easy - 25 minutes on the S-Bahn takes you from the airport to a train station right next to the Hamburg University buildings where the competition was held, while right next to the station on the other side was the Radisson Blu hotel (formerly known as the Radisson Sas - what with SAS Furniture in Beeston closing down and now this hotel chain changing its name, it's been a bad time for SAS enthusiasts just lately) where most of the competitors were staying. It's possible that I might still have managed to get lost, but as I got off the train I ran into a whole mob of memorisers who pointed me in the right direction.

The Radisson hotel will be very nice when it's finished, probably. At the moment, it looks from the outside like they still need to finish adding walls, roofs and other such essentials, while on the inside there are some classy and shiny new bits and a lot of bare boards and unfinished sections. And also, from eight in the morning until eight at night, a lot of loud hammering and drilling noises all day long, for which half-price meals in the hotel restaurant are supposed to compensate.

My room was very nice, with lots of pillows, international TV channels, comfortable bed and all the bits and pieces that you expect in the good hotels. It also, weirdly, has a window between the bedroom and bathroom, so if you really want to you can sit on the bed and watch someone else in the shower or on the toilet. There's a venetian blind on the bedroom side of the window, but even so, I don't know why they thought a window was necessary in the first place. Anyway, I didn't stay long in the room, both because of the deafening construction work and because I wanted to see some of the city before spending two solid days remembering stuff.

My conversation with the receptionist had made it pretty clear that my ability to understand German had deteriorated in the couple of years since I was last there, but you don't need to speak the language to use the super-user-friendly and efficient train ticket machines or the trains themselves, so I went down to the Hauptbahnhof, assuming that was the best way to find the city centre. And indeed it is, unless you leave the station by the south exit, in which case it's an experience more comparable to getting a train to King's Cross and wandering out into the streets to see the sights of London. But by a strategy of walking around and turning the other way whenever the word 'Erotik!' loomed in front of me in blue neon, I eventually found my way back to the train station, out the other side and into the proper shopping area. Which is really nice, and I'd recommend it to anyone.

A little bit of sightseeing later, it was back to the hotel for a half-price dinner with a gathering of German Gedächtnissportlers which confirmed that, yes, I definitely can't understand even the most simple conversation in German any more. Resolution for next year - go on a refresher course and improve my language skills. It's so embarrassing when I go over there and everybody effortlessly switches to talking in fluent English whenever I'm nearby. And then bedtime, in preparation for the excitement to come.


The competition didn't start until 2pm on Friday, with a press conference/opening ceremony at 11:30, but since the building works prevented me from having a lie-in, I went back into the city to get some rubber bands to hold my packs of cards together (the cardboard boxes are getting rather old and falling to pieces, and I'd hate to lose a stray card somewhere along the way as they travel around the world) before heading out to the university. Rather than having breakfast at the hotel, I decided to get the event off to a traditional start and go to McDonald's. I really am eating more healthily nowadays, but you can't beat junk food for a memory competition.

And so began the thirteenth German Memory Championship, the first one held in the north of Germany (my knowledge of German culture is sadly lacking, so I have no idea what kind of social or political significance this has, but everybody else felt that it was a point worth making) and brilliantly organised, as always, by Klaus Kolb and his team. As usual, there was a great sponsor, Nintendo, a very professional look to the whole event and lots of media people scurrying around. The press conference was held in a very stylish lecture room, watched from the walls by photos of eminent professors including Agathe Lasch (1879-1942), the first female linguistics professor in Germany, who wore a monocle and looked very cool.

The field of competitors was even stronger than is usual for the German championships - the publicity booklet handily was able to list all the favourites by their current titles: German Champion 2008 Johannes Mallow, South German Champion 2009 Simon Reinhard, North German Champion 2009 Boris Konrad, Vice-World-Champion 2008 Gunther Karsten and Women's German Champion or German Championship Runner-Up 2006-2008 Cornelia Beddies [I don't like the idea of having women's titles in a sport where men and women compete on equal terms in the same events, and I was pleased to see that there was a minimum of mentions of it this year]. Oh, and also that foreigner who won the world championship. There were also a whole lot of other competitors, old and new, most prominent among them probably Dennis Müller in his first really big competition but having claimed some very impressive results in training and probably a star of the future. Plus the usual mob of juniors as well - if only we could get the same kind of thing going in Britain, maybe we'd have somewhere close to the same number of good adult memorisers as the Germans have...

Hannes and Cornelia got to sit up on the stage and do quick memory demonstrations at the press conference, joined by Klaus, Tony Buzan and the Nintendo representative, whose name started with S and had a J in it somewhere, I think. I'm bad with names, have I ever mentioned that? Tony gave a very lengthy speech, in English, informing us that the world's greatest thinkers (Tony and his friends) had a meeting in Kuala Lumpur last month at which they proclaimed that it is no longer the age of information, but the age of intelligence (in the same way that it was once the age of agriculture, or the age of industry). This made the 2009 German Championship particularly special because it was officially the first memory championship of the age of intelligence. How this differed from the announcement a few years ago that it's now the millennium of the mind, I'm not sure, but it got a round of applause. During the course of the speech, Tony asked his young, German-speaking, audience to split into groups of three and discuss among themselves questions like "What is it more important to manage than to manage knowledge?" and asserted that "The world is in the trouble it's in because we're thinking informationally".

But I shouldn't be nasty about Tony's speech, since a) everybody else seemed to genuinely appreciate it (although the Nintendo woman looked downright baffled) so clearly I'm just being a miserable old cynic, and b) Tony later told me I'm looking really great and asked if I've been exercising. I think I really do look quite a bit less obese than I did at the world championships last year, so I was very flattered. And anyway, who am I to criticise someone who's unquestionably one of the world's great speakers - he went on for at least fifteen minutes, without pause or reference to any notes, and I'm sure he could have carried on all day without repeating himself if he'd wanted to.

The shorter speeches from Klaus and Madam Nintendo, as far as I could understand them, were more along the lines that memory and learning are not only good for you but can also be a lot of fun. There were Wiis and DSs set up in the hall outside, demonstrating all the cool brainy games now available. Gunther made a quick announcement that he wasn't going to be competing this year after all, apparently because he just wasn't prepared well enough for it, although he did say later that he'd be back for the world championship. He's growing his hair long and was unshaven - I think he's going a bit rock-n-roll in his old age.

Then it was time for a free lunch in the university cafeteria down the road, and on with the real business of memory. Even without Gunther, this was going to be the strongest competition we've had for a long time; for one thing it would answer the question everyone's been wondering (or maybe it was just me) - who's the best nowadays out of Simon and Hannes? Simon had a year away from memory competitions, during which Hannes improved himself up to similar world-beating levels, and the two of them were hot favourites for the German championship. I knew that I'd need to be at my best to win the event, and I wasn't sure whether I'd been quite as assiduous with the training as I should have been.

As always, the adult competition was confusingly split into two different events - the German Memo Open, listing everybody's scores, and the Deutsche Gedächtnis Meisterschaft, for German competitors only. This makes the statistics website seem to say that Gunther's won twice as many championships as he actually has, but for the purposes of this blog, I'm just going to talk about the GMO. By contrast, the UK championship has trophies for the best three British competitors and one for the best foreigner, but only lists the results as one competition.

Tune in tomorrow to hear what actually happened at the championship!

Cheap trip

I've got rather more euros than I thought I had - about 100 of the things, if you count the 20-euro note with quite a big chunk ripped out of it that I doubt I'll have the nerve to try to spend. Incidentally, have you ever noticed that 100-fils coins from Bahrain look quite a lot like 1-euro coins? It can be confusing if you're a globetrotter like me. Perhaps I'll try to pass off those fils as euros, seeing as I don't seem likely to be going back to Bahrain now. But what can I do with those Brazilian reais I brought back with me even though you can't change them outside Brazil on the grounds that I'd probably be going back there some day?

Sorry, I'm just showing off about all the places I've been. I'll stop now.

I've also got dollars, you know.

Last day

Woo, just one more day of work before I jet off to Hamburg for a weekend of intensive memorisation! I'm feeling less and less like I'm properly prepared, which is annoying. I'm still quite hopeful of winning, but it's quite possible that the whole competition might turn out to be a horrible disaster instead. We'll just have to see what happens - the best way to guarantee success is not to think about it and just have fun, or at least that's the way it always works for me.

Hitting the heights

Well, I take it nobody wants a fun-filled family day out at the Heights of Abraham, then. (Or possibly you just need to read my blog from last Friday, but I can't believe anybody would fail to read my blog every single day). I'll just have to go along there myself and shanghai the first one adult and two children I meet along the way, because if people don't use free tickets to their maximum capacity, the capitalists will win!

Foreign films

I've got Canadian and Japanese TV filming me in August, just before (but apparently not at) the UK championship. That's two separate TV companies, not a Canadio-Japanese co-production like one of those 1980s cartoons animated in Japan and dubbed by Canadian voice-actors. Although they should totally make one of those about me. No, this is the boring kind of documentary that all of my devoted fans just can't get enough of. Especially if I change my mind and tell them I don't want to be filmed after all. I don't actually like making documentaries, after all. I should put my foot down some time and say that I think we've done enough of them and it's getting a bit old now...

At last the truth can be revealed

"Zoomy's thing" has in fact been ghost-written for the past two and a half years by a team of ghost-writers employed by the government, under the supervision of editor-in-chief Emma Bunton Out Of The Spice Girls, who's actually quite a lot cleverer than most people think. It has been important for reasons involving national security to keep up the illusion that Zoomy himself still maintains a daily blog, hence the deception. In fact, it still is vitally important to the security of the nation and the existence of Zoomy himself that this deception not be revealed, but unfortunately there was a typographical error in the latest edition of the ghost-writers' secret instructions, issued today, and now they start with "Do under any circumstances reveal in the blog that Zoomy is in outer space and not at home writing his inane nightly drivel..." so the writers have had no choice in the matter.

Zoomy's occasional appearances on television were all pre-recorded in early 2007, and the results of all memory competitions to which they refer were decided in advance by a committee of government and WMSC officials - Zoomy has been represented by actors (the identical triplets Steve, Dean and Other Steve Bradshaw) at all competitions and the results manipulated by arbiters to conceal the fact that "Zoomy" can't actually memorise anything. At othello competitions he is played by Joel Blackmur in an ingenious disguise made from coat-hangers and gravy. At parties and social occasions, a crude robot is used.

Zoomy's space mission is top-secret and highly classified, but it involves a giant magnet in Bridlington which was built by accident and can't be got rid of due to a refuse collectors' strike, which attacts alien spacecraft from the farthest reaches of the galaxy and have to be continually repelled by Britain's own space program. Since this space fleet consists of one spaceship, and since this was built in the nineteen-fifties and requires course calculations to be done with pencil, paper and a book of log tables, and since all log tables were thrown on a big fire when scientific calculators were invented in 1983, the only person who can fly the ship is someone with a really good memory for numbers.

If any aliens read this blog entry and its revelation that Zoomy is currently taking a week off on one of the least pleasant moons of Jupiter, they'll immediately send their most magnetic spacecraft out on a beeline to Bridlington, take over the country and eat all the ice cream. So now we're for it.

Heights of absurdity

Hooray! I've won a prize in a raffle! A family day out at the Heights Of Abraham!

It does look like a fun kind of place, judging by the website (although the writers of it don't know how to use apostrophes), but all in all I think I'd still prefer to stay at home and watch telly. Besides, it would be embarrassing to ask someone to lend me their wife and kids for the day, even if I promised not to damage them. So, does anybody out there want this golden ticket? Free for the first person who asks!

Also, boo to the blood donor people. You can't give blood for 28 days after you return from the USA (because they're all swimming with West Nile Virus over there, apparently), which means I'll miss the days the donor van comes to work, and have to go somewhere else and get out of sync with the donor van's visits and be dreadfully inconvenienced.

I wonder if they sell hamburgers in Hamburg

I need to spend this coming weekend doing tedious things like shuffling and labelling the cards I'm going to memorise in Hamburg, printing out a map of the hotel and competition location so I don't get lost, digging through the drawer where I put foreign money to see if I've got any euros, getting new batteries for my speed cards timers, making sure my lucky t-shirt is clean and that I know where it is, writing a list of the important things I need to take with me and will forget otherwise (earplugs, hat, stopwatch, toothbrush etc) and so on. But since I won't be doing any memorising (too close to the event), I'll have plenty of free time to hang around doing nothing, too. Perhaps I'll write a book. Or reply to all those people who want to interview me just lately.

Thanks for the questions!

It's always nice to know that some people are still reading this thing, and I do apologise to anybody I narked or saddened. But hey, now I've got something to write about tonight, so all is well with the world again. First question...

Tell us more about your trip Stateside!!

Well, that's more of a command than a question, but that's okay. I like having instructions shouted at me occasionally, it removes the need to think for myself. Anyway, apart from the lengthy flight delays, my visit to Pittsburgh was just fantastic. I got to meet up with quite a lot of people I only previously knew over the internet (among them, if they're reading this, Max and Logan, who I should say hello to - and assert that although comics fans won't believe me, Logan is Canadian and that's his real name) and have a lot of cartoon-animal-related fun! I also got to look around the city, which isn't nearly as exciting or big as I expect American cities to be. It did, however, have a really amazing fireworks display on the 4th! With some really clever rockets that make smiley faces in the sky!

Now that you are an expert in long-distance cycling, what are your thoughts on this year's Tour de France???

My readers are fond of punctuation, aren't they???? Anyway, I currently have no thoughts on the Tour de France, except that it provokes a memory of the Luxembourg National Anthem from an episode of Maid Marian And Her Merry Men: "Hurrah for the state of Luxembourg, all Luxembourgers sing! And let our heroes' deeds throughout the rest of Europe ring! A man from Luxembourg once came thirty-seventh in the Tour de France, and in this year's Eurovision Song Contest we stand quite a good chance."

Let me just see what's happening in the Tour. Ah, I see Bradley Wiggins, who's got a silly name, isn't winning, Lance Armstrong, co-star of Men's Health's Superhuman issue, is doing slightly better, and someone I've never heard of called Alberto Contador is winning. Hooray for him, I wholeheartedly approve. I know two people called Alberto and nobody called Albert. Nor am I friends with anybody called Bradley or Lance, nor anyone with the silly surname Wiggins.

You could talk about how, confident or otherwise, you feel about the upcoming competitions Ben.

If not maybe you could discuss the number of locations you have used in recent memory training sessions :-)

What I would really like to read is a list of 50-odd items described in the pictures made by another person. Censored obviously (which is probably why nobody ever does it; he he.)

;-)

Up to the challenge Ben ?

Erm, I'm up to the challenge, but I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "a list of 50-odd items described in the pictures made by another person." You mean my images for memory, or someone else's?

Anyway, as for the rest of it, I feel sort of semi-confident about the German championship. I've slacked off the training quite a lot just lately, but before that I had a month or so of very dedicated memorising, and hopefully that'll stand me in good stead. My motivation comes and goes these days, but I think the truly mind-boggling amount of memory work I did back in 2003/04 still helps me be in a good state with just a little bit of refresher-practice before a competition. I don't think I'll ever be able to get back into the mindset I had before I won the world championship, when I was training constantly and never leaving the house unless I absolutely had to. But I'm still keeping up with it, because I really don't like it when I'm not the world champion.

The number of locations I've used... I've currently got 62 journeys, some of them old familiar ones I've been using for years, some of them brand new and still not entirely clear in my head, with 26 locations each. Plus a half-journey that goes up to 14 locations max before I get lost, that I use when I need a partial one, like in trial 2 of spoken numbers (11 locations for the 100-digit trial, then 22 for the 200-digits, which uses one-and-a-bit journeys). That makes 1626 locations, unless I've got my sums wrong. Which I probably have, because the radio's playing and I can't be bothered to concentrate.

I estimate that I need 31 journeys for the German championship. Having twice that many journeys prepared was not deliberate.

Your birthday's only a couple of months away, should we follow tradition and throw another Poohsticker event? Perhaps something pub based this time for those of us who are temporarily incapacitated?

Would be great to get the old gang back together again :0)

Yes, yes it would! I don't know how we got into the habit of only getting together once a year on my birthday, but I think it's a great tradition. And to compensate for the Zoomy-centricness of it all, I'll buy birthday cards and little presents for everybody else this year! How about a weekend in York - I think it's the anniversary of that great event some time around now. How long ago was that now? Eight years? Wow, I must be old.

What are your views on the Fermi paradox?

I had no views on the Fermi paradox until I looked it up on the internet. I think it's a nice thing for science-fiction writers to write about. Personally, I think humans need to broaden their ideas of what alien intelligence life would be like if they want to find any evidence of it. People still think in terms of little green men in flying saucers, and all those fancy radio-signal-monitoring things are geared to detect something that's basically exactly like us. Show some imagination, people. Aliens a squillion light-years away are probably sitting in their living rooms "listening" to radio comedy shows transmitted by the disturbance in air currents caused by a dense metal box being strategically hit with some kind of space hammer. We need to build some kind of receiver that can pick that up.

Thanks for the questions, one and all!

Did you miss me?

I deliberately didn't blog anything last night, to see if anyone would complain. Well, actually, it was more that I couldn't think of anything to write about and didn't want to subject my loyal readers to the first thing that came into my head. I'm generally a bit short of inspiration lately, for some reason, so I think it's high time we had another of those 'please, blog-readers, tell me what to write about!' episodes.

So please, if you're reading this, and have always wanted to know something, ask me a question, and I'll answer it at length in my next blog!

Otherwise, it'll be very boring around here until my muse returns.

Well, what an anticlimax

Tom Watson just needs an easyish putt to win the Open and he collapses at the last moment. And now it's after 7:30 and I'm wondering whether I can still fit in the 30-minute binary practice I was meaning to do after the golf to round off the day's training, or whether I should just leave it so as not to overload my brain. Maybe leave it, I think - binary I don't need to work out how many journeys to attempt because in that one I just do as many as I can until time runs out, one journey, repeat it, then on to the next, with no third or fourth read-through like the others. For some reason, possibly because it takes a bit longer to translate binaries into images, they stick in my brain with only two viewings, whereas numbers and cards don't. A bit of speed training in the evenings next week, using the backup journeys I'm not going to use in the competition, should set me up right for Hamburg.

Something I haven't mentioned in my blog yet, I think, is that the UK Championship is happening two weeks after the German, in London. The scheduling is a bit unfortunate - with the German championship being the bigger and more useful preparation for the worlds, competitors whose budget can only stretch to one event are more likely to go for the German, and personally I'd prefer to have the one-day UK first, then the two-day German, so we get a steady build-up to the big three-day WMC. Still, I've been unusually well-prepared this weekend and booked my cheap train tickets (£10 each way) down to London on the internet - still need to decide between the nearby but expensive hotel or a more distant but cheaper one, but I'll see how I feel. I think it's high time I stuck to those principles I'm supposed to have and stayed somewhere cheap and nasty.

In other news, isn't the internet great? I typed "Snodgrass" into Google to see what would happen, and the second entry was a really very fun short story about a John Lennon who left the Beatles before they got big. I heartily recommend it.

Old Ben Morris

Watching 59-year-old Tom Watson embarrassing all the young golfers after three days of the Open makes me hope I can do something like that at the World Memory Championship, if it still exists, thirty years or so into the future. I'd like to think that by then memory competitions will be the world's most popular sport (especially on the Martian colonies and among robots), with thousands of memorisers struggling to qualify every year for the big event (held in Simpson's on the Strand after a last-minute rescheduling caused by a power failure on Space Station 23B). But there'll be a rule that former champions qualify automatically, so I'll be there every year and people will point me out and say "There's old Ben, he was one of the greatest memorisers of history, particularly noted for his performance in the 2009 world championship when he finished a valiant second behind Ayumu the chimp..." But then, long story short, I'll win in magnificent style and everybody will say "Wow, that certainly destroyed my deep-seated prejudices against the elderly and bald." It'll be great.

Jack's back!

I missed the latest series of Torchwood first time round, but I happened to be idly flicking through the Radio Times tonight about thirty seconds before the first episode was repeated on BBC3, so I had it on, and wowee, it's good! People criticise Torchwood, but I've always loved it. They just need a way to stop John Barrowman aging so visibly, so it can run for years and years...

Hamburgers for all!

Yes, I've booked my flights and hotel in Hamburg, and now I'm all set for the competition. Except I was feeling too tired tonight to do any training, so I'm probably going to fail to memorise anything at all when I get to the competition.

I'm also going to fail to remember any German words, because it's been two years since I last visited the country or made any attempt to speak the language. I haven't even written a comically-ungrammatical post on a German internet forum for ages. Perhaps I should buy a phrasebook.

It's infectious

I do have a rule about not using this blog to comment on internet news stories, I know, but I couldn't resist pointing out that Yahoo News had a story today headlined "Parademic Accused Of Murder". They've fixed it now so that it says 'paramedic' instead, but it did make me giggle that all those 'pandemic' stories are contaminating unrelated articles (with no underlying health problems).

I'm not sure what a 'parademic' would be. 'Para' comes from the Greek meaning 'alongside' or something like that. A sort of secondary disease that makes the main epidemic even worse? But then again, 'demic' is only the Greek for 'people', it doesn't necessarily have any kind of medical connotation. Perhaps a parademic is some kind of similar but creepily different species that lives alongside humanity and occasionally gets accused of murder?

Actually, there's a film coming out soon along those lines that sounds cool. It's called "District 9", and I must try to remember to go and see it.

Numbers!

I've been asked to put a link to the Major memory system trainer, created to help you learn probably the best system for remembering numbers. I'm nothing to do with this website, and I haven't given it more than a quick glance, so I take no responsibility for the contents, I'm just endorsing it because the creator asked me to. But hey, I'm sure it's very helpful if you want to learn the Major system! Check it out!

While I'm throwing links around, beginner memorisers should also be keeping up with memory-sports.com, which has lots and lots of helpful hints and advice!

And here's something I was meaning to blog about last week, but I was on holiday. It's day 40008 today, you know. If you didn't know, Microsoft Excel processes dates as a number, starting from January 1st 1900, and last Monday was equivalent to the number 40000! I like big round numbers, and I want to share them with the world.

A year passes like nothing

Tomorrow is the first anniversary of me starting my new job (I probably shouldn't call it my 'new' job any more after today - from tomorrow onwards it will officially be my boring old job), and as regular readers will know, me having the same job for a whole year isn't something that's happened very much just lately. It's good to be boring.

I'm going to spend the day still catching up with all the stuff that didn't get done because I was late coming back from my holiday, and also I'm going to be coming in late because the local newspaper are interviewing me. It really is a mystery to me why I'm still employed.

Shopping

I've got a new stopwatch, alarm clock and comb to replace all the things I've lost/broken in the last few weeks, so now I'm all set to go to the German championships, memorise things within the appropriate time limits, wake up in time for the start of the competition and make sure that my remaining hairs are all pointing in the right direction. All I need to do is some training!

A week of evening practicing, followed by next weekend a full run-through of the competition, should set me up nicely. It's going to be a great competition!

State quarters!

Another thing I did in America was acquiring lots of those 25-cent coins with pictures on them depicting one of the fifty states of the US. I already had a couple of them here in my drawer full of miscellaneous foreign coins, but now I've got 14 in total! Obviously I need more American holidays, so I can acquire a full set.

And another thing I did on the way home was lose my stopwatch. I really have to get a new one so I can do some last-minute training for the German championship. It's less than three weeks away, and I haven't booked any flights or hotels yet!

Zzzzzzzzz

A day at work with serious jetlag is really no fun. I'm going to bed now, I don't expect to wake up until Monday.

Pennsylvania Pippins

I'm home at last! And feeling hugely sleep-deprived, despite spending most of the afternoon napping. Hopefully I'll be recovered enough to stay awake at work tomorrow.

Anyway, here's something new - I've become a baseball fan while I was in America! Channel-hopping during a quiet moment I came across a game between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Houston Astros, and to my surprise I loved it! It's an exciting and fascinating game and I really should have listened to the people who've told me so in the past. Last night while stranded in New York I watched the Yankees thrash the Twins 10-2, and I'm definitely a convert to the joys of baseball now. I'm going to have to find out whether it's possible to watch games on the telly over here...

I even know what the designated hitter rule is, and even have an opinion on it! (It's bad.) I need to go to a game in real life, next time I'm over that side of the ocean! Go Pirates!

There's no escape!

Well, the flight from Pittsburgh to Newark was even more delayed than the one in the opposite direction last week (due to thunderstorms somewhere, apparently, although since it's been beautiful summer weather everywhere I've seen for the past week, I don't know where these thunderstorms could have been), and I missed the flight back to Birmingham. And they couldn't put me on another one until 7pm tonight, so I'm stuck in New York for the day.

Okay, there are worse places to be stuck, so I'm not going to complain too much - I'm going to see the sights and have some fun. The only problem comes when I get back to work on Friday and have to fit at least three days' worth of number-crunching into a couple of hours. But hey, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, and for now the sun's shining, the city's got that distinctive New York smell to it, there's things to do and places to go. See you if and when I eventually get home!

It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw

Just a quick post to say hello from Pittsburgh. Getting here did indeed take longer than you'd think, thanks to a delayed connecting flight in Newark (fake Newark in America, not the real Newark I cycled to and from the Sunday before last), so I'm quite justified in using the blog title I've been itching to use ever since booking the holiday in the first place.

It wasn't until getting to Pittsburgh that I realised I'd booked my flight home for the wrong date - I'm supposed to be back at work on Wednesday, but I don't get in to Birmingham airport until about nine o'clock on Wednesday morning. I'm still not sure whether to go to the trouble and expense of changing my flights, or the work-related trouble and hotel-related expense of hanging around America for another day after the convention ends and emailing my boss to ask for another day's holiday. That would mean working long, long hours on Thursday and Friday to catch up with everything I need to get done, and that's never a good thing to do when you're jetlagged.

Maybe I'll just stay in the USA permanently, living on the streets and earning a living as a busking memory man. That'll solve all my problems!

One more day to our holiday

Hooray, because I've only got one more working day to go before I fly away for a week. Actually, this holiday has rather snuck up on me, because I organised it so far in advance by my standards (more than a month ago!), I'd almost forgotten about it. I haven't packed yet, but I have made a mental note that I'll need to book a hotel near the airport for tomorrow night, so that's progress.

Oink

I've had an increasingly irresistible urge these past few weeks to go up to Dundee, find the DC Thomson offices and demand to know why they're reprinting old Rasher strips, of all things, in the Beano. I mean, is there really that much demand for Rasher? His own series was dropped many years ago now, and his appearances in Dennis's have been few and far between in the 21st century. If the Beano is so short of creative talent or the money to pay for it these days that they're forced to plunder the archives for page-filler, why not dredge up something really good? Rasher was always okay, but it was never anything special. And Calamity James isn't appearing in the comic at the moment, I'd love to see his early adventures get another airing! I tell you, if I ran the Beano, it'd be cheaper, funnier and would sell better. I've missed my vocation in life, I think...

The Embodiment Gris

If I had a time machine, the first thing I'd do with it wouldn't be preventing any horrific and tragic disaster, or even skipping ahead a couple of hours to see tonight's lottery numbers. It would be to take a telly and video back to 1965 and tape "The Daleks' Master Plan" in its entirety. Like most BBC programmes of the sixties, the tapes were all destroyed long ago, and only three of the twelve episodes still survive. But I've been watching them today, and it really is cracking stuff. And not, like some old Doctor Whos, the kind of thing you watch to laugh at the cheap sets and effects, but it's brilliant, enthralling, deadly serious sci-fi drama that leaves me impatiently waiting for the next episode. Which, of course, is unlikely to be shown any time soon, unless another old film turns up in a BBC junk room unexpectedly.

Also brilliant is the DVD commentary on the recently-discovered episode 2 ("borrowed" by a young BBC engineer in the early seventies when he found it lying around the place, never returned and forgotten about until 2004), by Peter Purves and Kevin Stoney. They both cheerfully admit to having no memory of filming this 40-year-old episode they once starred in, but have a lot of fun discussing the old days and the people they worked with. It's somehow very warm and cosy to hear them referring to Zephon, Master of the Fifth Galaxy as "Julian Sherrier". The name actually suits the character surprisingly well. A typical bit of commentary goes like this:

"There's Julian again..."
"No, that's not Julian, that's Bill."
"Is it?"
"Yes, Nick Courtney beat up Julian and put his cloak on Bill, so now he's infiltrating the council of war. Do keep up, Kevin."
"I'm getting lost here..."

Somebody give me a Tardis, so I can watch episode 3!

Stop Press

For the benefit of those people out there who use my blog as the source of up-to-date news about memory competitions (these are the people who tend not to turn up, because I tend not to get round to mentioning important details), please note that the venue of the World Memory Championship this year has changed, from Bahrain to London. Dates are still currently intended to be November 13-15. I'd comment on the situation and the probable reasons for it, but I'd only get in trouble. Anyway, it should still be a great event, it always is.

In which I attempt to write the shortest blog entry in history (not counting the title, because titles don't count. This is the longest title allowed)

Too much on telly on Thursday nights. And I still did a good hour of memorising as well as all the tennis and comedy and working for a living. I was going to write a blog about how the skin on my sunburnt arms is peeling, but I didn't want to upset anyone with the graphic descriptions.

In the abstract

I'm in the process of doing something I should have done years ago, and getting serious about abstract images. Specifically, I'm putting together a randomising program to mix up the images from the handful of practice papers available online and enable me to practice it every night. Still a lot of work to do - copying and pasting images into the Excel spreadsheet one at a time is time-consuming and tedious - but it works pretty well so far, and when it's finished I'll share it with the world. Meanwhile, I'm aiming to cut down my time for memorising a page and a half of images down to three and a half minutes, in among the various other training exercises I'm still more or less sort of sticking with.

Also, I need to find a new barber. While I'll grant you that it's hard to make my hair look great, the place down the road really made a mess of it last Saturday. I'd hate to have to go back to Derby every couple of months for a trim, but I haven't had much luck yet finding a half-decent scalper here in Beeston. Perhaps my expectations are too high - all hairdressers nowadays have a photo of David Beckham in the window, as if to promise they're going to make me look just like him...

Ding dong, ding dong

I learned today that it was Big Ben's 150th birthday last month, and nobody told me. You'd think I would have been invited to the party - quite a lot of people, generally the non-British ones, have given me the nickname "Big Ben" in the past, on account of how I live in England, am called Ben and possibly also because I'm quite small.

A much better nickname, which nobody has ever yet applied to me, would be "Big Ben Brain", which was the name of a famous bare-knuckle boxer in the 18th century, and which incorporates the 'brain' theme that the World Memory Championships are often quite keen to promote. I might have to get some new business cards printed, just to give potential nicknamers a subtle hint.

Yawwwn

I'm still feeling all stiff and achey after my uncharacteristic physical exertions. And that's my excuse for laying around doing nothing all evening - I'll get back into memory training and so on tomorrow, I promise.

But since I've done nothing but watch the telly this evening, can I just observe how surprisingly incompetent the presenter/commentator/whatever-you-want-to-call-him on BBC Parliament is? Granted, I only flicked over to it a couple of times to avoid graphic replays of knee injuries on the Wimbledon coverage (I'm very squeamish about hurt knees), but even though I have little or no knowledge of or interest in the process of electing a new speaker, I seemed to know more about what was going on than the guy who was providing the voice-over (along with Betty Boothroyd). I could at least add up a couple of numbers correctly, remember the names of MPs that had been read out five minutes ago and that he'd presumably been discussing all day, and so on. I was sort of expecting a slick, professional, general-election-style coverage, but apparently BBC Parliament's audience is only big enough to justify a clueless commentator dragged in off the street and dropped in front of a microphone.

Makes it all worthwhile

I've got a shiny little gold medal, commemorating that I did indeed manage to cycle fifty miles! And more, if you count the six miles cycling from Beeston to the starting line at Holme Pierrepont (I got the train back, but there weren't any trains early enough in the morning). I've also got terrible sunburn on my arms. And now I'm going to bed to rest my aching... body.

I'm definitely going to need some kind of cushion

Cycled about 15 miles today, making sure I knew how to get to the starting point of tomorrow's bike ride and getting horribly lost along the way (don't worry, I know how to get there now) and I'm already sore. I should have invested in a pair of padded shorts like people have been recommending. I'm sure I can improvise something with things I've got around the house...

Anyway, rider number 2741 (you get real, official numbers like in a proper bike race!) is all ready to go. It's going to be a definite change from my usual Sunday of sitting at a desk and memorising cards and numbers.

The Calliope crashed to the ground

I like reading my old blog entries in idle moments. Although it always makes me feel like I was much more eloquent and entertaining in the old days, compared to the hastily-written drivel I always seem to be reduced to lately. But looking back through my writings of years ago leads me to notice that this epic poem of mine, which I still think is rather clever and funny, didn't ever get so much as a single comment! Really, my readers are so ungrateful. Who else in the blogosphere comes up with that kind of thing? I bet the new poet laureate, whoever he/she is (I've forgotten), doesn't even have a blog with such melodious verse in it!

Actually, I was reading old blog posts mainly to see whether I'd previously made light of the early-nineties articles about the Mind Sports Olympiad in old Synapsia magazines - I have, so I won't do it again. I will point out an impressive world record reported in the same magazine, though: "Creighton Carvello memorised one pack of cards at speed with only one error in 2 minutes 59 seconds" on Record Breakers in 1987. This, much more than that old chestnut about scientists' predictions of spoken number memory capacity, is the best example of how the World Memory Championships have stretched people's brains. Right now, 22 years later, I'm seriously worried that any one of two or three top memorisers is going to beat me to being the first to memorise a pack in under 25 seconds in a competition very soon. And 'only one error' is not going to get you a round of applause these days.

Il faut que tu fasses du vélo

For some reason, that's a phrase that has stuck in my head ever since French lessons at school got as far as teaching the subjunctive. French grammar is a very silly thing. Anyway, it's just a couple of days until I go on a longer bike ride than any sensible person would want to do, and I'm a bit worried about the weather. We seem to be getting baking hot sunshine followed seconds later by torrential downpours just lately, and I'd hate to get struck by lightning and then slowly fried like an egg on the tarmac. That'd really knock down my average speed.

It's not too late to sponsor me, by the way. And many, many thanks to everyone who already has!

And even bigger thanks to Jabba, who sent me a really cool book just because she knew I'd like it! That's the kind of charity there should be more of - Entertain A Zoomy.

A conversation with Microsoft Excel 2007

Excel: This spreadsheet contains macros. Macros can contain viruses. I'm going to disable, delete and destroy them, okay?

Me: No, it's not okay. Open up the file, macros and all, please.

Excel: Macros can contain potentially harmful viruses. You shouldn't open files with macros in unless you're completely sure that they are safe and virus-free.

Me: They are. Shut up about macros and just open the file.

Excel: So, have you run a virus-scan and got some professional to double-check that there are no viruses lurking in these macros of yours?

Me: No, of course I haven't. Nobody does that. Just open the file.

Excel: You mean open it with the macros disabled, right?

Me: Look, I wrote these macros myself, the file has never been anywhere other than my laptop, there's no way anyone could have ever infiltrated my visual basic workbook with viruses. The file doesn't work without the macros, so why in the name of flip would I want to disable them?

Excel: I'm really not sure this is a good idea. Let's just forget about this workbook, and play with something else, shall we?


I mean, seriously. I've been writing and using macros for many, many years, at home and at work (mainly just for the sake of it because very few people can do them, and everyone thinks you're some kind of magician if you know how, but sometimes because they're really useful things) and I've never had a single problem with viruses, nor met or heard of anybody who has. And yet every new version of Excel forces you to select ever more 'non-recommended' macro security options, special file types, hidden toolbars and so on, just to use a tiny little harmless macro! Stupid Microsoft.

Did I fall asleep?

I'd heard pretty uniformly bad things about Dollhouse, so I'd been meaning to check it out ever since it started. I've seen the last two episodes, and it's actually really quite good. Certainly worth watching, although tonight's episode could have been done rather better towards the end - lots of different and less predictable ways the ending could have worked out. I don't expect the really formulaic stuff from Joss Whedon.

But even so, it's something new to add to my things-to-watch list, and that's a very sparse list right now. TV isn't the opium-of-the-masses it used to be...

Yay!

I've just discovered that TMF, the second-rate music channel, shows cartoons before nine o'clock (when the teenage audience are presumably still in bed). I've got another cartoon channel that I didn't know about! I can watch the first half of Maggie and the Ferocious Beast before I leave for work in the mornings!

Beer good

A Saturday getting horribly drunk with my brother, followed by a Sunday recovering from it, is a great way to spend a weekend every once in a while. And hopefully I'll have stopped feeling quite so dreadfully unwell by tomorrow morning when I need to go to work...

The train of thought is late again

I just thought to myself something along the lines of "Right, finished my hastily-knocked-together costume for my brother's party tomorrow, now for the more important task of..." and there was some word or phrase after that. But now I've got no idea what it was that I was going to do. I'm pretty sure it was something very significant that probably won't wait until tomorrow morning. But never mind.

Anyway, what I was going to blog about tonight was the idea of technologising the memory competition world. Check out the latest interview on memory-sports.com, the extremely cool website that I might have mentioned before. On the one hand, it's a good idea to save the arbiters the hassle of marking (and avoid the mistakes that causes), and the idea of spectators being able to see live updates is fun (although I think people would prefer to see updating numbers rather than animations of people running).

On the other hand, there are definite health and safety issues with requiring competitors to stare at a computer screen for an hour. I think it'd still be better to have the memorisation done on paper, and the recall on computer. But then, that would probably lead to more possibility of technical problems, and that's the wider issue - the cost of setting up computers for everyone is something the organisers could maybe deal with, if they get a bit more money from somewhere, but there would inevitably be something go wrong with it. Probably a power cut in the middle of a competition that causes all the numbers the competitors have spent the previous two hours typing in to be lost. I remain sceptical.

The Flaming Sword Of Fire

If you like Maid Marian and her Merry Men, you should probably watch Kröd Mändoon. It's the same thing, only with adult jokes and Americans. Although I'm not sure whether Sean Maguire is American nowadays, or if he's still English. Anyway, he's extremely funny, and so is the whole show.

Okay then

I'm going to do the Great Nottinghamshire Bike Ride and see if I can cope with a 50-mile cycling tour of the scenic countryside between Nottingham and Newark, if any. Consquently, I want people to give money to charities, by clicking here. I know I said I was thinking of doing it for the Alzheimer's Society, but I'm doing another thing for them in September, so I decided to just go with the GNBR's official charities list. Come to think of it, I know more people with cerebral palsy than people with Alzheimer's, anway.

I should probably point out that if the weather's awful or if I feel too lazy to get out of bed, I might still not bother with it, and just cycle the 50 yards down the road to the Co-op for a big bag of sweets, then come home and lay in bed all day eating them. If that happens, you won't be required to give any money. Although you probably should donate anyway. I'm sure none of my readers is the kind of person who makes promises of money to the needy but makes it conditional on the cycling performance of a fat, lazy oaf. Just sign up for your donation and stop moaning!

If I do stay in bed all day eating sweets, in fact, I'll triple my own donation. Can't say fairer than that.

Oily fish? Pah!

Another story in the news today about the wonders of oily fish. Apparently it fixes macular degeneration now, too. But if you eat it more than four times a week, you die, or something. I personally don't believe in omega-3. I think somebody made it up, for nefarious reasons. Probably a cat. Cats don't like fish and want them to be eaten.

The glorious fourteenth

It's my brother's 31st birthday on Sunday, which is good in that I get to go to a party on Saturday to celebrate it. But it does also lead me to realise that that means it's four months until I turn 33, which is really not a good age to be.

But then that leads me to realise that in another four months after that, I'll turn 33-and-a-third, which is actually a rather groovy age to be! And this will happen on February 14th, 2010 - I'm going to have to have a Valentine's-Day-cum-third-of-a-century party! How often do you get an opportunity to go to one of those? Practically never!

Unless you're longtime friends with Cliff Richard or Roger Moore or one of the other lucky people who was born on October 14th, of course. Come to think of it, Cliff, like me, was unmarried at the time of his Valentine's Day 33-and-a-third birthday. Roger Moore, according to Wikipedia, was in the process of splitting up with his second wife at the time. E.E.Cummings was single, after being dumped by his second wife and before meeting his third. The Battle of Hastings celebrated its 33-and-a-third anniversary during the reign of the unmarried King William II. There's something decidedly unromantic about this occasion...

Shiny things

A magpie keeps flying right up to the top of my kitchen window. I thought there might be a nest up there, or maybe on the roof, but I can't see one by leaning out of the living room window and craning my neck. Anyway, it creeps me out. I'm superstitious about magpies, and seeing one at a time on a regular basis is disturbing. I need to lure more of them to my windows somehow, five or six at once.

Dammit, Radio Times!

They provided a pretty extensive preview of Robert Webb's appearance on "My Life In Verse" last night, but didn't mention that they were going to go back to his (and my) old school and interview Mr and Mrs Slater, the English teachers! I would have watched it if I'd known that, instead of deciding not to bother! Now I'll have to find out whether it's possible to see it on the internet. Or did anyone happen to video it? I prefer to do things the old-fashioned way, it's more fun.

Actually, one of the three pictures in RT shows Rob (I think his friends call him Rob - let's be honest, I was three years below him and never spoke to him, although everyone in school knew him and loved his comedy routines, so I probably shouldn't give people the impression that we were friends) sitting in a classroom, and I'm trying to work out whether it's a room at QEGS. I'm fairly sure it's not rooms 8, 9 or 10, which is where English lessons were held in my day. Possibly room 10, if it's got fewer windows than I remember. Or it might be the new geography room (or was it the new history room? The closest one to the changing rooms, anyway - the one where the old chemistry lab used to be). It's the kind of thing a TV crew would do, deciding that the English classrooms are the wrong size or shape for a photo, so let's use the geography room instead.

In other news, if I did the Great Nottinghamshire Bike Ride, would anybody want to sponsor me? I was thinking about it, apparently the 50-mile one only has one really nasty hill on it, and I have just had my bike serviced so the brakes work and the handlebars don't fall off. Money would go to the Alzheimer's Society, say. C'mon, who'd give money to see me get sunstroke and/or soaked by downpours while giving myself a heart attack from unnecessary exertion?

Also, I'm watching the first couple of episodes of "Lie To Me" on Sky. Tim Roth is good, like he always is, but it's typical mainstream American detective drama stuff that thinks it's a lot cleverer than it is. And some of the actors trying to convey the subtle facial gestures the script calls for are downright embarrassing! And also, it'll lead to even more people becoming NLP fanatics, which the world could do without. NLP people get on my nerves something chronic, and I'm not sure exactly why.

With the possible exception of this guy, if he is in fact an adherent of NLP. He kind of looks like he might be, but his extremely well-designed website doesn't say so, so maybe he isn't. He does look like he might be a lot of fun as a speaker. And more importantly, he mentions me in a very groovy way in his blog.

Incidentally, I swear I don't google my own name every day. Once a month, tops. But it seems like every time I do, I find a fun reference to me that was made just the day before!

Closure

Well, following on from last night's post, I'm sorry to report that Pat Lally (like every other Labour councillor in Broxtowe) lost his seat. And the new Conservative councillor is called Eric Kelly, which is much harder to make a comedy name out of (there are plenty of half-rhymes with Eric, but no real ones except 'cleric').

Still, following on from last weekend's (or thereabouts's) post, I can confirm that The Pickwick Papers really is worth reading! That Dickens bloke does have something going for him, after all. I think he'll go far.

I don't blog about politics

And I also don't devote a blog to making fun of someone I've never met and know nothing about. So it's really been difficult, these past few weeks, to refrain from mentioning that the Labour candidate for the county council is called Pat Lally. And, although I'm sure he's perfectly slender and sensible, whenever I see his name, I always want to give him the subtitle "the fat wally".

Luckily, the election's all over now (or will be tomorrow, when the results come out), so I'll be able to avoid blogging about something else. It'll be a relief!

Here comes the summer sun

Well, today's been cold and cloudy, but the previous few days were baking hot and sunny, which has led me to the conclusion that this new flat of mine is backwards. The front room and kitchen get the sun through the big windows in the mornings, while the bedrooms get it in the afternoons, which means that when I go to bed I come from a relatively cool room into a baking hot one. I think it would work better if it was the other way round.

Maybe I can borrow a giant crane and spin the flat around 180 degrees? That would solve all my problems, and be quite good fun, too!

Remembrance

I'm watching Remembrance of the Daleks on video. Haven't seen it since it was first shown, on the weeks surrounding my twelfth birthday, and I recall having no idea what was going on at the time. Actually, the plot still doesn't entirely make sense to me now, but it's a lot of fun to watch anyway.

And talking of memory, have you heard that Simon did a pack of cards in 27.36 seconds at the South German championships? I really can't wait for the German championship now, there's going to be such a huge volume of really, really great memorisers there, and I have no idea who's going to win.

Long day

The good thing about spending seven hours on trains in a day is that it really makes you appreciate the days when you get to work at an office ten minutes' cycling away. Still, it's fun to visit an exotic place like Cardiff, even if the Doctor wasn't hanging around there today. Anyway, I'm going to bed. Humans weren't designed to get up in time to catch 6:00 trains.

Yesterday ... and Today

I forgot to mention a couple of groovy things that happened yesterday. In W H Smith's, I was served by a woman who asked me "Were you on that Superhuman thing?" Which is always nice. And I weighed myself on that machine in Boots and it told me that my Body Mass Index is down to 27.9, and thus I'm no longer in a position to benefit from that scary weight-loss drug we sell! I've lost five pounds since I weighed myself about a month ago, and I attribute that to the last couple of weeks of not cramming sweets into my gob all day long.

Also, I did 1224 in 30-minute numbers practice today, which I think is a personal best. And I've come up with a scheme for creating an abstract images training program, although it'll take a fair bit of work to put it together.

Sunshine

Hooray, summer's here! Also, for some reason earlier today I found myself thinking it was Sunday, and then I remembered it wasn't, and I get another Sunday tomorrow. Which was nice.

I'm going to Cardiff on Monday for a meeting (I go my whole life up to this year without visiting Wales, and now I seem to be always dropping by), and getting the early train, so I was thinking I'd have to get to bed early tonight, when it suddenly dawned on me that it's only Saturday. Perhaps I should buy a calendar.

An apology

It seems that yesterday's blog entry used the word 'willy' rather more than is normal for a decent, family blog like this. It won't happen again. Except in that first sentence there.

Anyway, I'm wondering what to do tomorrow. It's the weekend, I've got nothing exciting planned and Saturdays in my current memory-training schedule (which I'm still following religiously, by the way) are a memory-free, mental-battery-recharging day. I might go somewhere nice and take advantage of the fine weather. Or maybe I'll stay indoors all day and watch Doctor Who videos. We'll see how I feel.

Everything you hear on the internet is wrong

On one of the internet forums I frequent, someone mentioned today the well-known fact that you can see Bugs Bunny's willy in one frame of one old cartoon. And someone else, in world-weary tones, directed him to the snopes.com debunking of this myth.

Snopes, with its myth-busting raison d'etre, has stumbled into a position where its word is taken as law - people are naturally sceptical about all the nonsense you can find on the internet these days, but this has the interesting side-effect of making people automatically believe anyone, even if they're just another guy on the internet, who says that something is just an internet myth. Even if it isn't. So in the interests of debunking Snopes, can I invite you to study "The Wabbit Who Came To Supper" in more detail?

Check out the shot of the "risqué" frame there. The website explains that the 'object' in question is just caused by the gap between Bugs's legs, the white background and the curvature of the towel. Now go and watch the cartoon and pay attention to how Bugs's character model works. The gap between his legs never goes up into his white tummy like that! It's either flattened or rounded underneath the white oval, depending on what position he's standing in.

I say it's Bugs's willy. It's possible that an in-betweener artist got the legs wrong for a frame or two, but not possible that Friz Freleng wouldn't have noticed and would just have okayed the incorrect animation. It was either a mistake that got left in because it made the gang in Termite Terrace giggle, or it was put in there on purpose. Anyway, it's a phallus and no question about it!

I'd advise you to watch the cartoon anyway, even if you don't care about Bugs Bunny's willy quite as much as I do. It's worth it alone for the brilliant moment when Bugs picks up the phone in Elmer's house, asks him for a nickel, takes the coin, casually pockets it and continues with his conversation!

Well, that was disappointing

I was confidently expecting a dull 0-0 draw, with Man Utd to win on penalties, but they were completely outplayed. Shame, really. Still, maybe Chelsea will lose the cup final and cheer me up again...

Wow, is that the time?

I did do my regular evening's memory training tonight, so I don't count as completely lazy, but then I've somehow got engrossed in a website detailing obscure Marvel comics characters until twenty to eleven at night. So I hope you'll forgive the short and late blog.

What the deuce?

I've got a reputation for being well-read, in some circles, but there are big gaps in my literary knowledge that I've always been meaning to fill. The most prominent gap is that I've never read anything by Charles Dickens (except A Christmas Carol, obviously, but everyone's read that. Or seen the Muppet version.) So in a charity shop today I bought The Pickwick Papers for £1.10 and I look forward to finding out whether it's a timeless classic or a load of rubbish.

It'll have to wait until I've finished Nocturnes by Kazuo Ishiguro, mind you, because I know that's going to be good...

Holiday

Lots more memory training today, yay for me, so tomorrow's a day off to catch up with everything else I've been meaning to do. Although I might also spend the time creating a few more journeys - the ones I've got at the moment aren't enough for the excessive practice routine I've got going right now. This afternoon I was still remembering what was in the locations the previous time around. Might just be because my forgetting skills are as rusty as my memorising...

The Old Queen's Head

That was the venue of the Sheffield Regional - it's another pub with a long history, dating back to 1503 according to the rather cool stained-glass thing upstairs in the function room we were occupying. Which makes it older than the Queen it's named after, unless the sign with its picture of Elizabeth I was lying to us, now I come to think of it. Anyway, the room was nice, but would have been better as an othello tournament location if there'd been a door separating it from the noisy pub below. Still, I happened to have a pair of earplugs, left over from some memory competition, in my bag, so I was fine.

Well, fine in the sense of having some of the background noise muffled, anyway. My othello-playing varied from okay to not-okay, though. I started (before finding the earplugs) with a very groovy 55-9 win over Iain, who's much better at othello than me, but was then outclassed entirely by Aidan and Steve, who normally don't pose me too much trouble. Aidan, actually, had a really great tournament all round, and ended up joint second with Iain, after Geoff, who beat everyone without any apparent problems.

I was fourth, which leaves me 50 points clear of Geoff in the BGP with one regional to go. Farnborough on June 13th, and I'm still fairly probably not going to go. It's a very long way, after all, and I'm not sure I'd want to win the BGP by virtue of turning up to more regionals than my rivals. Also, what if I did decide to go along, and ended up losing? That would really annoy me.

Anyway, we had a new player today as well - a stratego player I've met once before at the MSO. Stratego is a really cool game that I haven't had enough opportunity to play in the course of my life so far (I practically never managed to fit it into my schedule at the MSO, somehow - just twice in ten years). I need to make an effort to get into the stratego tournament circuit, if I can fit it in around othello, memory and general laziness.

A few further non-othello-related observations I think are worth mentioning:

Did you know that Men's Health magazine comes in two different sizes? I noticed in W H Smith's in the train station today that there's a full-size, A4 kind of version, and also a smaller version, sort of half-way between A4 and A5, with all the same content, but worse quality paper. And the funny thing is the smaller one costs the same as the big one. The complimentary copy I got was the big one, by the way. As is only right.

Also, the Npower advert with Wallace and Gromit, in which the Npower representative apparently barges into their house uninvited and installs a new boiler, certainly seems to be an accurate portrayal of Npower's sales policies.

One more thing I forgot to mention yesterday - in the course of a general conversation at work about how old people look I mentioned that people always think I'm about ten years older than I am. To which the boss's PA replied "No, I wouldn't say that, you've got a young face. I'd say you look about late-thirties, early-forties." I need to dye my beard. Or scalp.

Weekend!

And I have to say, it's been a pretty successful week all round. I've got lots of clever stuff done at work, I've refrained entirely from eating anything between meals, despite Colin bringing a box of doughnuts into the office today, I've done a proper memory training session every evening, and I've watched every episode of Bagpuss!

Now it's a three-day weekend, and I'm going to win lots of games of othello, memorise lots of numbers (both decimal and binary) and cards, and catch up with lots of friends who I've been sort of neglecting lately.

Or else stay in bed all weekend doing nothing. We'll see how I feel.

Sheffield again

Othello again on Saturday. And I'm in such a memorising mood at the moment that I'm going to take my abstract images images (pieces of paper with the 'abstract images' patterns on one side and the name of the image they represent on the other) with my on the train and bone up on them in preparation for some more heavy-duty training on Sunday and Monday.

It's great to be back in the routine of doing an hour or so of memory every evening, seeing my times get a bit faster and my scores get a bit higher every time. I'm still some way away from the level I was at last time I was seriously training, but I know there's the potential to be better than ever before by the time of the world championship. Which is a nice thing to aim for, even if I don't win the thing.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to practice my othello a bit, too - it really would be nice to win the BGP and go to the world championship and lose all my games there against the best in the world. But on the other hand, I often find myself playing quite well when I haven't so much as thought about the game for a couple of weeks, so maybe I'll follow that strategy again...

My brain doesn't work

I just thought to myself "Hmm, I'll look that up on Google while I'm sitting here at my computer..." and then by the time I'd clicked onto Google I'd completely forgotten what I was going to type into it. All those articles about me are right when they say I always walk into a room and forget what I was going to do there. And when they say a chimp beat me in a memory test.

I do realise, incidentally, that my blog entries for the last week or so have been a bit lacking in length and substance. I just never seem to remember to write anything until last thing at night, and then I can't think of anything cool to write about. I'll make up for it tomorrow with some big long essay about something exciting. Like whatever it was I was planning to look for on Google.

World champion standard

I'm really back into the swing of memory training, it's great! And what's more, I'd forgotten it's a bank holiday weekend coming up, so I get an extra day to do all sorts of useful and productive things! Furthermore, I've cut down on snacking in between meals and I feel extremely slender and healthy for a change! And the weather's relatively nice, in between rainstorms! And the recession and swine flu don't seem to have been in the news lately, so I assume somebody's sorted them out! Life is great.

I've got Bagpuss

Here's something I forgot to mention about the weekend - in a charity shop I found the complete Bagpuss on video! For 50p! Well, I wasn't going to pass up that kind of opportunity, so I'm watching it right now. It's the ship in a bottle one.

A little bit more memory

I did manage to remember the Online Memory Challenge today, which pleased me. I didn't perform terribly well in it, of course, but I'm sure with a bit of practice I can catch up with all these really good Germans who dominate it at the moment. I want to get back in the habit of doing a bit of speed memory every night when I get in from work. That'll have a knock-on effect in improving my results in the long disciplines too.

Anyway, enough memory training minutiae. From tomorrow I'll be back to blogging about whatever drivel pops into my head...

Dreißig Minuten

Ooh, I feel accomplished tonight. I've done practice sessions of half-hour cards, half-hour numbers and half-hour binary - with an hour's recall time for each, that's four and a half hours of proper training for the German championship. If I can do that kind of thing most weekends between now and the end of July, my brain will be ready for anything!

Didn't get particularly great scores, mind you, especially in the numbers where I made oodles of annoying little mistakes, but the important thing is that I didn't have nearly as much mind-wandering as I'd expected to have. Considering I haven't done a big lengthy memorising session for aaaaages, in fact, I was on really great form. I'm happy!

Another good memory-related thing - I found a half-eaten bag of tooty frooties in my jacket pocket this morning that I'd forgotten all about. I love when that happens!