You just know they'd be dishonest about their expense claims. But despite this, the Radio Times cover this week has decided to celebrate the upcoming general election and the upcoming dalek appearance on Saturday's Doctor Who (alongside, apparently, Winston Churchill played by an actor who doesn't resemble him even slightly) by proclaiming "Vote Dalek!" (again - they did exactly the same thing in 2005) and having three different variant covers with a red, blue or gold dalek.
The funny thing is that I haven't seen a single gold dalek cover in the shops around here. Did RT proportionately represent them in smaller quantities, or are they just the most popular? Or have they cleverly distributed the different colour schemes according to the latest opinion polls in each constituency? I live in a seat that's going to be a fairly comfortable Conservative win with Labour second, and the Co-op down the road had four blue and two red daleks on the shelf. It's a real puzzler, and it's probably a good thing that I've vowed never to buy RT again, since they've made it 'bigger and better' by stopping listing all the programmes that I like to watch.
So let's talk about a different kind of campaigning instead. I got a great leaflet through my letterbox today, advertising STAYwarm hot water heating systems (yes, it's written "STAYwarm" as if to claim that while other heaters might make you temporarily warm, this is the only one with a permanent effect). The blurb starts "We all accept that fuel price increases have reached a frightening level and will continue to spiral upwards. Once, we had no choice but to accept this. NOT ANYMORE. At last you can take control and have a say in your fuel prices. Why be held to ransom by Foreign owned energy companies?"
I just love the bold, underlined, capitalised word 'foreign'. Obviously they're hoping for a reaction along the lines of 'My God, I'm giving money to foreigners! I must give this implicitly British company all my money instead, quick!'
Actually, they probably will get a lot of reactions like that around here. That's why the blue daleks are going to win this election...