I don't write as much as I used to

By which I mean that I actually write more nowadays than I used to, but it's all on this blog thing, and so is mostly dull stuff about my everyday life, rather than dull fictional stuff that's supposed to be funny. I used to be quite prolific with that kind of thing in the olden days.

I'm using my antique desktop that I've had since 1999 (I think - I had to pause for a moment and replay my life so far to work out when it must have been, and it still might have been 1998), because I needed to dig out "The Adventures of Jayce and Alex" from the hard drive, in order to force it on someone who I somehow neglected to force it on back when I wrote it in 2001. J&A was a serious attempt to see if I could become a writer of children's books, and I continued to try to start a career in that field for the next couple of years, on and off. The publishers of Britain were unanimous in their opinion that I'd be better off as an accountant. I've re-read Jayce and Alex tonight, and I STILL think it's quite good. But then, I'm biased.

While I was here, I decided to have a look through the various Word documents saved on my PC. Since I save everything in 'My Documents', usually with the title that Word suggests (the first few words of the text), it provides a fun guessing game to see if I can remember what any document is from the title. Things of note include:

The special secret extra Jayce and Alex adventure that I wrote a month or so after the first book, intending it to be the opening chapter of the sequel, which nobody knows exists, and the first few paragraphs of chapter two. I wasn't entirely happy with the way it turned out, and since by then the rejection letters were coming in thick and fast, I decided I should maybe try writing something else instead. Then I think I got distracted by another project, and didn't write anything at all, until...

"Interesting Private Detectives", another planned masterpiece of fiction for the discerning primary school audience, that I never got very far with. It would have been a real epic, with dragons and squirrels, at least three different planet Earths and a lot of mad-scientist inventions - I must finish writing it some time.

A story involving a giant that I had completely forgotten about, dated 2003 and seeming to be so heavily indebted to Lemony Snicket that I would never dream of trying to get it published now. Strange, because it was written long before I'd ever read any Snicket books.

Lots and lots of exercises I wrote for my students while I was learning to teach English as a foreign language. They're not very good. The poor foreigners (and I mean 'poor' in more ways than one - you could pay for lessons from qualified teachers at that place, or get taught by trainees for free) can't have learned very much.

"Alpha.doc" Good grief, it's an Alpha Flight fanfic. And a TERRIBLE one! I'm pretty sure I never showed this to anyone. I don't do fanfic, this is the only time I've turned my hand to it.

"Animal Cookies.doc" Oh, I remember this. I was going to write a story based on a surreal conversation I had on the Bridge with a bunch of people. And since most of those people were Americans, I tried to write it with an American accent. I didn't get very far without giving up on it.

"Bagshot is large.doc" A hilarious one-act play about the upper classes. I'll save that in case I ever find myself needing to put on a comedy revue at the local theatre.

"Bratislava application.doc"? When the heck did I apply for anything involving Bratistlava? Oh, it's a TEFL thing. I didn't get the job. Or indeed a TEFL job anywhere, but I only applied for a couple before deciding I would have a lot more fun going back to accountancy.

"Brotherly Love.doc"? What the... ohh, wow, another thing I'd forgotten. It's the script for a Doctor Who comic strip that another member of the Mensa Doctor Who fan club was going to draw. We got as far as talking about it, when I realised that my writing was, in fact, horrific, and I decided not to go on with it. Shame, but looking at it now I can see it was a very good decision.

"Code Effect.doc" Ooh, a list of the secret codes for Mortal Kombat 3! You never know when that might come in handy...

Hmm, it's going to take all night at this rate, and I sincerely doubt anyone's still reading. Besides, there's an othello tournament on Kurnik starting in a couple of minutes. I'll continue the journey down memory lane.doc later, and won't write about it here unless a lot of people really want me to.