Okay, one more bit of sort-of Excel-related posting, but this one seques nicely into a lot of other weird things I like to talk about. Let me share this absolutely amazing video from the great and unfailingly humble Microsoft MVP, Giles Male, which dropped on Excel's 40th birthday this week.
This is the kind of thing that makes Excel the ultimate in cool. And it is, notably, a 'real' piece of music, with real actual people. The Microsoft Excel World Championship has also entertained us with AI-produced music, which is a subject that fascinates me. Let's face it, AI has got really good at a lot of things. The Excel championship has had to officially ban the use of AI this year, because it's now capable of solving the puzzles very impressively, and speculation is rife about how the Copilot function is going to change the future of spreadsheet professionals and render people like me obsolete. I think I've chosen a great time to get passionate about Excel after my quarter of a century using it!
The things AI can do now are pretty cool, I have to admit. It can write and sing you a song from a prompt, as discussed above. It can bring an old picture of my granddad to life, albeit turning him into someone completely different. It can allow Simon Stagg to bring his latest genius invention into being...
(The obvious thing to do with Simon Stagg in a modern Metamorpho comic is to turn him into Elon Musk. The recently-ended Metamorpho comic - which, I remind you, you should be going out and buying the paperback collection of right now - doesn't do that except perhaps for this one page; he remains a true silver age comics genius who invents and builds things all by himself!)
And I admit I did get curious to see just how imaginative ChatGPT can be if you tell it to create fiction. I found that asking it to read specific things and produce something similar just gives you a carbon copy of the first couple of paragraphs it reads, with a few words changed. "Similar" isn't the right prompt, perhaps.
AI has also crept into Project Gutenberg's library of classic books - take a look of the summaries of a couple of Wilkie Collins classics I've talked about in this blog before now:
"No Name" by Wilkie Collins is a novel written during the mid-19th century. The story centers around the Vanstone family, particularly focusing on the dynamic between the two daughters, Norah and Magdalen. It explores themes of identity, societal norms, and the struggle between good and evil as the characters navigate personal conflicts and family secrets. At the start of "No Name," readers are introduced to the Vanstone family, living in their country residence in Somersetshire. The opening scene depicts the serene morning routine of the household, highlighting the easy-going nature of Mr. Vanstone and the contrasting dynamics of Miss Garth, the governess, who holds a more authoritative stance. The stage is set for the arrival of Magdalen, the youngest daughter, whose vibrant personality stands in stark contrast to her reserved sister Norah. Through a mix of humor and domestic life, Collins hints at underlying tensions within the family, particularly foreshadowing the significant changes that are about to unfold following a mysterious letter from New Orleans which casts a shadow over the family's seemingly tranquil existence. (This is an automatically generated summary.)
Yeah, this computer has only read the first chapter. The dynamic between Norah and Magdalen is not at all the main focus of the book. Imagine submitting this to your English literature teacher at school - you'd just get told to go and read the whole thing. It's even better with The Dead Secret...
"The Dead Secret: A Novel" by Wilkie Collins is a fiction work written in the mid-19th century. The story revolves around Captain Treverton and his wife, Mrs. Treverton, as well as Sarah Leeson, a troubled lady's maid with a mysterious past. The opening chapters present a tense atmosphere filled with secrets, focusing on the dying moments of Mrs. Treverton, who sends for Sarah for a final request that could change everything for those who remain. The beginning of "The Dead Secret" sets a dramatic tone, introducing the unsettling situation as the dying Mrs. Treverton's attendants anxiously await her passing. As Mrs. Treverton shares her last wishes with Sarah, it becomes clear that a significant secret lies between them, one that carries the weight of sorrow and regret. The description of Mrs. Treverton's health and appearance, alongside Sarah's nervous and pitying demeanor, builds a palpable tension. This tension deepens as Mrs. Treverton insists on revealing her secret to her husband and demands that Sarah witness her final disclosures, leading to a critical turn of events that will have enduring ramifications for everyone involved. (This is an automatically generated summary.)
It's only read the prologue. The characters who actually carry the story don't get a mention. Captain Treverton, if you haven't read the novel yet even though I told you to, dies early on in the book and is almost entirely off-stage even before then. I suppose you could say they don't want to spoil the story, but I'm thinking the main reason is the computer being too lazy to go beyond the first few pages.
Anyway, all this talk of AI creativity led me, naturally enough, to wondering if it can write cartoons. This was before the latest update to ChatGPT, by the way - it might have got more creative or less creative since then. Trying to keep my prompts as vague as possible, I asked for a storyline for ALVINNN!!! and the Chipmunks, focusing on Simon and his love-hate relationship with Alvin. That was the entire prompt. And what immediately came out, I must say, rather impressed me.
Sure! Here's a storyline for an episode of "ALVINNN!!!
and the Chipmunks" that highlights Simon's love-hate relationship with
Alvin, while keeping the tone fun, emotional, and in line with the show's
comedic and heartfelt style.
Episode Title: "The Science of Chaos"
Synopsis:
When Simon wins a prestigious spot in the National Junior
Inventors Showcase, he’s ecstatic—until Alvin decides to “help” him prepare,
leading to disaster after disaster. As tension between the two brothers rises,
their rivalry reaches a boiling point. But when things go wrong at the science
fair, Simon must decide whether to push Alvin away for good... or admit that
his brother’s chaos might be exactly what he needs.
Storyline:
ACT 1:
·Simon is selected as a finalist for the National
Junior Inventors Showcase with his new project: a machine that can detect and
defuse arguments before they escalate—based on tone of voice and brainwave
patterns.
·He’s excited and determined to represent the
school and his family well.
·Alvin, hearing about the showcase, insists on
“helping,” claiming he’s great with people and showmanship.
·Simon is reluctant but eventually agrees, not
wanting to hurt Alvin’s feelings.
·Alvin immediately turns Simon’s quiet science
prep into chaos—adding flashy lights, sound effects, and even renaming the
invention “The Peace Blaster 3000.”
·Simon’s frustration grows as Alvin makes
everything more theatrical and less scientific.
ACT 2:
·The brothers argue constantly. Simon vents to
Jeanette, saying Alvin is “the opposite of everything he stands for.”
·Meanwhile, Alvin complains to Theodore that
Simon doesn’t appreciate creativity or fun.
·On the day of the showcase, Alvin insists on
giving the demo speech.
·Predictably, Alvin pushes the machine too far—it
short-circuits and malfunctions in front of the judges.
·Humiliated, Simon storms off and declares he’s
done working with Alvin forever.
ACT 3:
·Later that night, Simon tries to fix the machine
alone, but struggles.
·Alvin sneaks in to help—but instead of messing
around, he offers genuine advice about how to make the invention more relatable
to people.
·They talk—really talk—and Simon admits that
while Alvin drives him crazy, his energy and heart often bring out the best in
people (even if it’s in the most annoying way possible).
·Together, they rebuild the machine—combining
Simon’s science and Alvin’s charisma.
·They return to the fair just in time for a
second chance presentation.
·The judges are impressed by the teamwork and the
new version of the invention.
·Simon earns an Honorable Mention—not the win,
but something even better: the feeling that maybe his chaotic brother isn’t so
bad after all.
Closing Scene:
Back home, Alvin brags that he “saved the day,” while
Simon rolls his eyes but smiles.
As Alvin leaves the room, Simon mutters, “I hate that I love that guy.”
Cue the classic Chipmunks-style laugh track and music
fade-out.
Let me know if you'd like a follow-up episode, or a
version that includes the Chipettes too!
I have to say, I like this. It's not a direct copy of any episode of the series, or any other series I know of. It might be stealing someone's online fan-fiction, but if so at least it's a good one. But it feels like a real Chipmunks plot, and captures the general feel of the thing perfectly. Except, perhaps, for "the classic Chipmunks-style laugh track" at the end, which is a strange line and must be borrowed from some other show that traditionally has a laugh track. If you're not a fan (which you should be, after all I've said about it!), Chipmunks episodes often but not always end with a shout of ALVINNN!!!, but Simon's closing line here would make a perfect ending for this episode. Followed by the usual music but no laugh track.
Everything else, though, is perfectly Chipmunky, and the central plot device of a machine to detect and defuse arguments before they start is intriguing - it's a) exactly the kind of thing Simon would do, b) exactly the kind of thing he would do better at if he worked together with Alvin, and c) really not an idea I'd expect to see from a human, giving this episode an entirely appropriate authorial touch of AI. I really think it could be the inspiration for a real episode, and it would be a good one. Give it to a good scriptwriter, add a catchy song, and you've got a hit.
I tried a few other cartoons before getting bored, but this first one was the best. Bonus comedy points for ChatGPT never quite getting the basic setup of Rugrats right, and insisting on giving the babies conversations with the adults. But I think with just a couple more upgrades, fully AI cartoon entertainment is a possibility. Until it's run out of ideas to steal from actual humans, but by then we'll all be extinct anyway.
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