No, I'm not dead. I was kidnapped by working-class people who mistakenly believed I'm the King and wanted to force me to institute a parliamentary democracy. It's all been sorted out now.
Anyway, I've been bullied into putting my book on Lulu. You can buy it here if you want. It costs a tenner, some of which may or may not end up being paid to me, I'm not sure how it works.
Yes, I'm still emailing it for free to anyone who asks me; no, it's still not worth reading under any circumstances; no, it hasn't changed since I wrote it many years ago, barring roughly half a dozen proof-reading corrections kindly supplied by Simon Orton two and a half years ago and finally incorporated today, and a couple of parts where I changed the 'current' date from 2008 to 2010 (forgetting that it's not 2010 any more).
So in summary, and in all seriousness, don't buy it. Ask me for a copy if you want to read it, but I wouldn't recommend it.
It really is taking me a long time to get used to it being 2011. I blame the Royal Mint. I got a 2011-dated 50p coin in my change today, and according to the internet they were first issued last October. This is more confusing than it sensibly needs to be, and I'm going to write a letter of protest, spending the 50p on a stamp in the process.