Sunday, April 26, 2009

I work for MI5

I spy on people, memorise what they say and do, and repeat it with roughly 85% accuracy. They hired me for my binary-digit-remembering skills, obviously, but we're still waiting for the first terrorist attack (or whatever it is that MI5 investigate, if indeed MI5 still exists and is still called that - I don't keep up with the news as much as I should) that somehow involves a need to memorise up to 4000 1s and 0s in 30 minutes. The bosses were thinking of letting me go, but then someone realised that I'm quite a bit cheaper and easier to secretly install in someone's house than a hidden microphone.


Anonymous said...

Be careful agent Pridmore ! This is a national secret ! I understand that you have a job for MI5 which you replied to in The Sun adverts but not all of us in this field have had the privelage of working as code crackers at Bletchley Park.

I will never forget that time that we nearly died whilst stopping Vladimir Putin do bad things to some Bush chap !

Names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent !

Dai (or somebody else).

Anonymous said...

So it was false and true.

Because it greatly amuses the Queen.-

Zoomy said...

I can neither confirm nor deny that I've also spied on the Queen and noticed that she feeds her corgis on the cheap Tesco dog food.

Mike said...

I memorised a 1 and a 0 once but then I realised that it was just ten!

PS. Your random word captcha thing made a very rude word for me to repeat.

PPS. Have you any plans to write that spy novel involving memory?
I keep thinking it would be a smash hit.