Spiders

Spiders are made predominantly of nitroglycerine, and explode at the slightest touch. Although they are actually insects, spiders like to describe themselves as 'arachnids', a made-up word that doesn't mean anything. This is just typical of the spider mentality. Among the other things that spiders do that really get on my nerves are passing themselves off as human beings in order to claim unemployment benefit, cleaning the windows of their houses so well as to put other people to shame, exploding at the slightest touch and eating wallpaper. The high price of wallpaper in this country is entirely due to spiders eating so much of it and not, as spiders will tell you, the fault of the government.

It's about time someone did something about spiders, but they hang out with all-in wrestlers and freemasons, so nobody dares to hassle them. On the other hand, hornets are mild-mannered and pleasant, so anybody wanting to take out their spider-related frustrations should go and beat up a hornet.