Among my many new year's resolutions was one to get up early in the morning and go to bed earlier the night before (I've heard it has health, wealth and wisdom benefits), thus enabling me to do a little bit of memory training in the morning, start work early, finish work early, do a little bit more memory training and have ample free time for lying around wasting time and eating cheesecake. Because next year, those two favourite pastimes of mine are going on the resolution list.
This seems to have completely thrown my body clock for a loop, with the result that I woke up at four o'clock this morning and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, had a bath, had breakfast, practiced memorising historic dates, then went back to bed and got up again at half past eight. It's extremely confusing. Perhaps I should just stay in bed all day, every day, and not care about being healthy, wealthy and wise? Because let's face it, I'm overweight, unlikely to be paid any WMC prize money and generally stupid, and I'd hate to change too drastically in case nobody recognises me.
Have you considered adopting the lifestyle of that chimpanzee, Ayumu, who smoked you in that memory competition in 2009? Become very territorial and eat a lot of bananas.
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