It can't be done

No human being can play the piano with both hands at once. It just isn't physically possible.

Anyway, on Saturday night there was a poster up on the bar from a group looking for a drummer. Kitty, who knows about musical matters, tells me that good drummers are in short supply these days, and lots of bands have to make do with drum machines just because they can't get one. So with that being the case, why am I wasting my time trying and failing to get harmonious noises out of my electric keyboard when I could be hitting things rhythmically with sticks, the big time and the jackpot?

Other things that I can't play, as revealed on Saturday, are pool relatively sober and darts extremely drunk. I really need to acquire some new abilities - there's a limit to how often I can memorise a pack of cards and make people go woo. Another thing I'm meaning to do is plan out a memory-based stage show I could do. There are plenty of ways to make memorising a few numbers seem like an impressive performance, I just need to work on my patter and stage presence.

Also in the news, either I had a dream last night about telling someone my internet banking ID number or it's something that really happened that I can only half remember due to a course of amnesia drugs or hypnosis.