Thursday, August 08, 2024

We're gonna teach those boys to laugh too soon

 I had a dream that I was recording some kind of promotional video segment involving singing the verse from "Blinded by the Light" that starts with and now in Zanzibar a shooting star was riding in a side car, and for the next line the director had me kneel down and point at the camera in a way that seemed very cool at the time. You probably had to be there.

But that's a lot more awesome than anything I've previously done on camera, and I'm going to suggest it next time someone wants to film me. Although in the waking world my singing ability, and for that matter ability to kneel down, might not be quite as impressive. It could work in some kind of horror movie, maybe...

Monday, August 05, 2024

Everything is connected

Sorry I haven't blogged anything for a while - I know I have maybe as many as three dedicated followers who anxiously await the latest irrelevant drivel from me on this site, so I'll make up for my silence with a lengthy and incoherent ramble about some good books and some terrible comics, and how despite all appearances all the dots are joined together!


I like to have a good book or two pulled from the bookshelves and a pile of comics pulled out of the cupboard lying around the place to read through when I have a spare moment. Today I've been reading, not for the first time in my life, "Beyond the Burning Lands" by John Christopher. I really love that trilogy. It took me ages to find the third and final part, back in the olden days when I was relying on books being in the school library or the public libraries of Horncastle or Boston. One way or another, they had the first two books, in big glorious hardback editions wrapped in library plastic - the best way to read a fantasy kind of novel! - but not the third. I forget exactly how long I was deprived of the Sword of the Spirits, but it probably wasn't as long as it felt. These paperbacks I've got now have "Kitwood Boys' School" stamps, the school in Boston where my mother was a teacher, so they must have come from there, probably around the time it merged with the girls' school and got rid of all the duplicate stuff. I don't remember getting them, but I'm glad I did.

But the point is, it took a while to know how everything was resolved, and I had plenty of time to linger on the ending of book 2. Luke has finally become the Prince of Winchester, and isn't at all sure if that's a good thing. "I sat on as dusk drew down over the city, thinking of the unalterable past; and all my dead." There's no particular cliffhanger, but plenty of dangling threads, and we're left to ponder just what might happen in the next book. And think about all the mysteries and fascinating questions raised by this second volume, like... how exactly is King Cymru's name pronounced?

See, beyond the Burning Lands in this post-apocalyptic (well, post-natural-disaster-kind-of-apocalypse, as the books make clear) world is the Land of the Wilsh. The city of Klan Gothlen, people called Yews and Kluellan; you get the idea. Corrupted versions of Welsh names, to nicely indicate the diversification of two different strands of the English language over generations of separation. But the King takes the name "Cymru", and are we supposed to pronounce it the standard Welsh way? It doesn't feel right when everyone else has names written in a sort of phonetic English. The books give us no clue, and that irks me a little. But seriously, if you've never read the "Prince" trilogy, you have to go and read it. It's the best thing John Christopher wrote, in my humble opinion, and he wrote no end of wonders!

Anyway, it struck me this morning that there's an interesting connection between this book and the comics I've got out to read through just at the moment. They're the Alpha Flight comics written by James D. Hudnall and mostly drawn by John Calimee, and they're the kind of thing you have to be in the right mood for. Let's be honest here, I'm an Alpha Flight completist, I love the series, but I'm not going to say you have to go out and read these particular ones. In fact, they're awful. Hudnall wasn't a great writer, Calimee wasn't a great artist, and they certainly didn't bring out the best in each other. But sometimes I like to take a look through the comics anyway, and recall the horrors of the Sorcerer Saga.

This endless series of adventures for the Canadian super-team pitted them against the machinations of Llan the Sorcerer. Why an ancient sorcerer who returns to our dimension every ten thousand years and confines his operations to the Northwest Territories of Canada has a Welsh place-name for his nom-de-sorcerie is never discussed ["Hudnall' backwards is Llan, duh]. But I thought it was fun to be reading of Llan and Klan Gothlen at the same time, and it inspired me to write about how things that seem to have no connection at all do in fact all come together, somehow, in the end! Join Zoomy's Holistic Detective Agency and let me teach you all about the Spirit of the Times!


Alpha Flight #78 has a theme of prophecies of the future, hints of what's to come. It's James D. Hudnall's chance to give tantalising glimpses of the storylines he's planning. Which is a good enough idea, and it's clearly not his fault his plans had to change. The cover suggests Doctor Strange will play a prominent part in the story, but actually he's just the framing sequence...


Sensing something terrible happening up in Canada, the Sorcerer Supreme (Doc Strange, not Llan, who's just "the Sorcerer") gets cryptic symbolic visions to tell him what it's all about, starting with one of South America...


In Brazil, so the narrative caption appropriately tells us everyone's speaking Portuguese. Captain Forsa (presumably meant to be Força; 'strength') is a very stereotypical Latin ladies' man, full of heroic bravado. He's never been seen before, but the first page of his debut appearance here is enough to tell us what he's all about.



And the third page of his heroic career chronicles his grisly demise at the hands of the mysterious Zeitgeist! This mysterious figure with time/space/form-bending powers won't be satisfied until he/she (it's a bit hard to tell from Calimee's art, but it looks like his 'real' form is male) has killed all the heroes and villains in the world! And taken photos of them!


What is the connection with Canada, Dr Strange wonders. Good question. And not one that has ever been answered. Nothing remotely related to this scene ever has anything to do with any future adventure of Alpha Flight, or anything to do with Canada. Except one little line from Llan at the end of the final omen in this issue...



Having restored Alpha Flight's foe the Master of the World to health, Llan tells him he'll get involved with Marrina's offspring (he never does) and says that Llan meanwhile is going to introduce Alpha Flight to someone from South America (he never does).

Again, it's clearly not Hudnall's fault. He doubtless had a story already written where Zeitgeist would clash with the Canadian heroes. But the next two issues of Alpha Flight were forced to tie into "Acts of Vengeance", the Marvel Comics 'epic' in which all their superheroes fought some different superhero's villains. Alpha Flight, instead of Zeitgeist, tangled with North American villains the Scorpion, Nekra, the Asp and the Owl for a while. The mysterious Zeitgeist disappeared into unpublished limbo and Alpha Flight never had anything to do with him. They eventually beat Llan, although the hasty and incomprehensible conclusion was again clearly not what Hudnall would have had in mind if he'd been given more time and freedom to bring his stories to a conclusion.

Actually, it would probably still be dragging on today if he'd been left to it. They really are terrible, interminably dull and badly-written comics. Sorry. That's just mean. I do kind of like them, really!

Anyway, does Zeitgeist move on to the rest of the Marvel Universe on his way up from Brazil to Canada? Well, a Zeitgeist shows up in Germany, two years later, in 1991, in the pages of Captain America. But there's no connection, right?

Here's a connection! Marvel's comics of 1989, like that Alpha Flight, had interesting cover dates to them. Four consecutive monthly issues were dated "Nov", "Mid Nov", "Dec", and "Mid Dec". Marvel were reducing the gap between publication date and cover date, which had reached a plainly silly four months and now was brought down to two. They weren't publishing two issues of Alpha Flight a month, despite what the cover dates might suggest.

But in the summer of 1991, Captain America actually was being published twice a month! And so we got the 390th issue of his comic, dated "Late Aug 1991"!


Oh god, the Femizons. Actually, we can ignore the main story, in which Captain America fights an army composed of Marvel Comics' entire cast of female supervillains if we want to - Zeitgeist only appears in the backup strip at the end of the comic. But let's take a look and see if there's a Canadian connection...


Yes, there is! Look there - it's Alpha Flight's fat female foe Pink Pearl! She only appeared in one Alpha Flight comic, years and years earlier, but will come back to their pages just a couple of months later in 1991, when it will turn out that after her release from jail she became a legitimate businesswoman. Hmm, I guess she took a few days' vacation to join the Femizons and then went back to running her strip club.

And she shares the action in this scene with Screaming Mimi, who'll later go on to become Songbird of the Thunderbolts. That's not an Alpha Flight connection, I just happen to like Thunderbolts. But everything is connected, so let me make an observation about this scene. See, this comic is written by Mark Gruenwald, a truly GREAT writer whose work I mostly love. This one doesn't show him at his best. He was a really gloriously nerdy continuity-lover, and he's deliberately put Titania in this scene just to titillate the kind of nerdy fan like me who appreciates the juxtaposition. See, this is the Skeeter McFerran Titania, no relation to the Titania who used to hang out with Screaming Mimi and Poundcakes, but who was dead by the time of this comic. Just remember that bit of trivia, because everything here is connected, I promise.

Now let's turn to the brief backup strip, and see this Zeitgeist. While Captain America himself was fighting the women, his arch-foe the Red Skull was in prison in Germany, and a gang of baddies led by Crossbones are planning to break him out. But they're stopped by German heroes Hauptmann Deutschland (newly-introduced German counterpart of Captain America), Blitzkrieger (one of the 'international' heroes created for "Contest of Champions" a few years earlier, although back then he was called Blitzkrieg) and their mysterious teammate who becomes visible for the first time on the final page of this comic - Zeitgeist!


Nice costume, Zeitgeist. I mean, he's just stealing the look from the Clock King, who had been appearing in DC Comics since 1960, but it's still pretty striking (if you'll pardon the clock pun). But this heroic German Zeitgeist is no relation to the killer of Captain Forsa, obviously. He's just a German word being applied to a German hero being written by an American who (despite his German surname) doesn't seem to know all that much about Germany.

Any superhero stories involving heroes from a different country to the one they're published in are almost invariably dreadful. Alpha Flight are a rare exception. These guys aren't. I mean, when the "Schutz Heiliggruppe" story appeared in German translation, they changed the names (you can't call a hero "Blitzkrieg" in Germany!) and basically rewrote the whole thing to remove the idea that they're dedicated to defeating war criminals.

But is there a connection between this Zeitgeist and Canada? Sort of! See, Blitzkrieg's one previous appearance, as I said, was in Contest of Champions. In that, the heroes of the world were arbitrarily sorted into teams, and Blitzkrieg ended up in a trio with Captain America and Sasquatch, the Canadian from Alpha Flight! Everything is connected!

The Schutz Heiliggruppe appear in the remainder of this backup storyline over the next few issues of Captain America - Zeitgeist does practically nothing - and then are gone and forgotten. Until 1995, anyway!


1995 comics were terrible. Okay, I'm possibly going a bit too far with the abuse, but here I'm just quoting a popular opinion about the Avengers family of comics at the time. They were about to be radically relaunched under the direction of Rob Liefeld and Jim Lee. And the relaunches were terrible too. But then, after a year of that, they were relaunched again, and this time they were really awesome! See, that's a positive! But we're here in 1995 at the tail-end of Mark Gruenwald's time in charge of Captain America, and he's resolving a whole lot of plotlines. Starting, weirdly enough, with Zeitgeist!

The Schutz Heiliggruppe have for some reason gone to South America to investigate a series of murders of superhumans in South America, all of them found with a polaroid photo of their deaths! Yes, that never-resolved storyline from an obscure and forgotten issue of Alpha Flight six years previously has been brought back into the light! And it IS the same Zeitgeist after all!

Note that list of dead superhumans - "Captain Forza" has had the spelling of his name corrected, and it's STILL wrong. Força with a ç. If he ever gets mentioned again in a Marvel comic, I hope they get it right. The next on the list, Defensor, will be familiar to Blitzkrieger - he's another one who was created for Contest of Champions. Everything is connected, and perhaps the two of them became friends during the contest (they were on the same side), explaining why the Germans have come to investigate poor Defensor's death! But it's the end of Blitzkrieger too, when Zeitgeist finally shows his true colours.



Meanwhile, Hauptmann Deutschland has changed his name since we last saw him, and is now going by "Vormund". Apparently they were going for the German word for Guardian, which - everything is connected! - is the name of the leader of Alpha Flight and conveys a sense of protecting the country or ideals of the heroes. But it doesn't work, because Vormund only means guardian in the sense of a child's legal guardian. It's like a superhero calling himself "Parent". But let's not laugh at him; he's very upset by the death of Blitzkrieger.



Meanwhile, Zeitgeist, in a completely different costume, has gone to New York to kill an old man and help Mark Gruenwald resolve another dangling plotline...

The 1940s hero The Angel had been brought back in two mutually contradictory ways in previous comics. This clears up the confusion to everyone's satisfaction, except those who are wondering what the deal is with Zeitgeist's costume and priorities. So what, he starts by killing all the superhumans of South America, then moves on to the North American heroes starting with the oldest? It probably makes sense to him, at least.

There are a lot of other plotlines crammed into this issue of Captain America. It's not until quite a bit later that we catch up with Vormund and Zeitgeist, and confirm that he constantly changes his appearance and disappears mysteriously.


While Vormund wonders exactly why this time-shifting, clothes-shifting lunatic is his only surviving teammate in the first place, the reader knows that he's set up an invitation for Captain America to attend an elderly-superhero party at The Angel's place. And he mentions that the Angel had previously financed assassins who killed minor villains, including the Titania I mentioned earlier. Everything is connected!!!

And then there's a confusing fight scene at the party, in which Vormund and Captain America both seem to be assassinated by Zeitgeist, but aren't. And it all comes to this hasty conclusion.



And the comic has run out of pages, so Captain America has to blurt out in the last couple of panels that Zeitgeist was really Everyman all along. What, you don't remember Everyman? He was in one Captain America story in 1981 and a Marvel Team-Up in 1983. Apart from having a sword, he had absolutely nothing in common with Zeitgeist in any of his incarnations. Why connect them posthumously now? Only Mark Gruenwald knows. Everything, absolutely everything, is connected! But since there wasn't room to explain anything in the comic itself, he commandeers half the letters page, of all places, to describe at length what we've just been reading!



Credit also goes to Peter Sanderson, an even more gloriously nerdy continuity expert! And the final line is a nod to Bill Mantlo, who of course wrote Alpha Flight before James D. Hudnall. Everything is connected, from first to last.

Personally, I think Zeitgeist was the Clock King. There's a whole DC/Marvel crossover going on that nobody knows about yet, but it'll find its way into the comics some day.

Sunday, July 21, 2024

Make your summer special

 They don't make summer specials like they used to. Back in the good old days of the mid-1980s, there would be a whole lot of new and exciting comic specials on the shelves at this time of year, reprinting old comics you might not have seen the first time around. A good thing to get your parents to buy for you on a trip to the seaside if they hadn't already been bankrupted by the cost of buckets and spades, sticks of rock and so forth.

If you picked up the latest Transformers comic in summer 1986, looking forward to the time when this year's summer specials would be advertised, you might have been a little confused at first. In Transformers no. 66, dated June 21st 1986, they possibly accidentally printed the advert for the spring specials which had come out in March...


 What's interesting about this selection is the price - Transformers is 65p, Secret Wars 60p, Get Along Gang and Zoids 55p, Fraggle Rock and the A-Team a mere 45p. Possibly there were different numbers of pages to them (Transformers is the only one I've read), possibly there were additional costs involved in some (paying a colourist, for example, as I'll explain below), or possibly it's just maximising the profits a little bit - Transformers must have sold the best, despite the price tag, I would have thought (based on primary school memories of what was the coolest comic).

In the following week's Transformers comic, they printed the ad for the comics that were now coming out for the summer...


Now Transformers has gone up to 70p! Secret Wars still 60p, but Zoids has inched up to that price point too. Spider-Man and the (spider-like) Sectaurs just 45p, and if you had plenty of money to spare and wanted something other than reprints of mostly American comics, you could fork out a whole £1.10 for a Doctor Who special!


And if you or your parents had LOTS of money and very little sense, you could spend an outrageous £2.50 on these special "books" from Marvel. They look impressive in this ad, but the content of them actually didn't give you much more than the summer specials did. The Transformers "Complete Works" contained just the first two issues of the American comics. About 48 pages' worth of Transformers, that had originally appeared across four 25p comics in 1984. That's inflation for you.

But to be fair, when these Transformers comics originally appeared, there was a significant difference. Half the pages of UK Marvel comics in those days were uncoloured. Summer specials added colour to the lineart of pages that didn't originally have it, and gave us a glorious technicolour special! Each of the specials in the ads above were 48 pages, including the covers, of which 44 were reprints of the comics. The first two "collected comics" had contained the four-issue original American series; these ones reprinted the first UK-original material that they had to produce while waiting for the Americans to come up with more of the stuff!


This cover, by John Ridgway, was originally drawn for the second issue of the UK Transformers comic (reprinting the second half of the first American issue). The scene actually fits much better with the story contained in this special, "Man of Iron", in which the Autobots pay a visit to England and interact with a local boy.


And the inside front cover advertises these must-have Ladybird book-and-tape adventures! You could also buy the books on their own, but the cassette tapes were really quite awesome too, with music and (as advertised) sound effects, as well as an enthusiastic narrator reading the book. And just look at that "special gift box" you could buy, for only £5.95! That's a whole two pence cheaper than buying the three of them separately!


I do like the way the contents page describes it as a story "from yesteryear". That means "literally last year", since it had originally appeared in January and February 1985. But it's right to say that the original comics were almost impossible to find by the spring of 1986 - there was really no way to acquire back issues in those days except finding someone who'd bought it at the time and didn't want it any more.

Bluestreak only appears in a couple of panels of this story - I get the feeling they've used this picture of him thinking it was Jazz (who's played up as the main star in the paragraph to the left), and not bothered to fix it when someone noticed. This is his box-art picture, showing him in the blue colour scheme that wasn't used on the toy, which was silver. The original art of his couple of panels was uncoloured; this collected comics reprint makes him a silver-grey to match the toy.


And after those 44 full-colour pages of excitement, we get a rather old ad for the Dinobots, which by spring 1986 had been in the shops for a full year and weren't new at all! American readers might need to be told that no, we didn't get the toy of Swoop in this country. If you want to apologise for being so mean to us, I'll graciously forgive you. If you want to tell me we should have made our own toys rather than just importing yours, I'll concede that you've got a point there too. Let's move on into the summer!


This one gets a brand-new, specially-drawn cover by Will Simpson! The original covers of the comics this story first appeared in were ugly collages of panels cut-and-pasted from the story within, so probably weren't considered suitable for a summer special. For one thing, this new cover is drawn using the American character models, which weren't available to the British artists at the time these stories were drawn! The stories reprinted here had to use the toys as models, and although they do a good job, they would probably have been better with the simplified designs the Americans had come up with.


The advert on the inside front cover gives us some genuinely new and thrilling toys! The Special Teams! Combining Transformers! (We also didn't get the Constructicons in this country, so this was a brand new innovation for us). Giant robots made up of five smaller robots! Just look how cool they are! Even though they've forgotten to attach Bruticus's head!


This one has five chapters. It was written as four 11-page stories as before, but the last one was chopped in half and spread over two issues of the British comic. The American material still wasn't available, and they needed to stall for time! And as I've said before, we loved Transformers so much, we honestly didn't mind when there were only five pages of Transformers in our fortnightly Transformers comic! We'd take anything we could get, and be delighted with it!


And on the back cover, the all-new Ladybird book-and-tape! This is a really good one, too. I don't know why they originally released three of them at once, and then the fourth a little bit later on its own, but maybe there were production delays. Or maybe they just wanted a summer release to keep the excitement going. "Take the Transformers with you" was a great idea! You could force your parents to play it in the car's tape player on your way to Skegness!

I tell you, those were the days.

Saturday, July 20, 2024

Unexpected existential crisis

 The British Othello Federation committee are discussing European and World championship events which will or might happen over the next few years, and in the middle of idly thinking about the dates it struck me like a bolt from the blue that I'll be FIFTY years old when these imminent competitions happen in late 2026 or early 2027!

I have honestly never considered that before, I suddenly realise now. I regularly tell people I'm 47, by way of asserting my greater life experience than the impudent youngsters I'm saying it to, but the concept of me being 50, at a time that people are discussing right now as something that is actually going to happen... has never once crossed my mind before.

That's a bit disturbing, all things considered. I think I'm just going to go back to bed, possibly forever, and forget about the whole thing.

Sunday, July 14, 2024

Dressed from head to foot in white garments

 I spent the afternoon in the bath (have I mentioned I've got an enormous and luxurious bathtub?) reading The Woman in White and watching the Wimbledon final. There's a whole theme there that I wasn't really intending, but you could see it as doing my bit to support the team who'll (presumably) be wearing white in tonight's final.

I'm not sure if I want them to win, actually. I sort of want to see the 'sixty years of hurt' hit single in 2026.

Saturday, July 06, 2024

Nations of the Globe

A slightly delayed write-up of the British National Othello Championship last weekend, at the Globe 'music venue and bar' in Newcastle. Actually, on the Saturday at least, it was a venue of silent and sober concentration in the upper room, and by the time the live music started downstairs on the Sunday all the competitors were totally in the zone and barely noticed.

We had eleven players, which is exactly the worst number for a nine-round tournament (followed by one-game final). There's a bye, and all but two of the players get the bye at some point. Everyone plays nearly but not quite everyone else. And if you're doing the pairings manually, it becomes an absolute nightmare to pair people on a similar number of points by the time you get to the last couple of rounds. It makes you feel guilty about turning up, knowing that if you didn't it would have been ten players and a wonderfully appropriate round-robin.

But I was doing the pairings, which makes me a Very Important Part of the whole proceedings and not guilty at all about being there. And the pairings weren't done by hand (as was, for many years, the tradition at the Nationals), and nor were they done on the venerable, ancient and incomprehensible Papp program that has been used in our tournaments before now. No, we used the shiny new and astonishingly simple FlipTheDisc.com, which I heartily recommend to anyone who's wanting to run a tournament of their own. You can see all the results from this and other tournaments in the "Live Events" section, and play through the final game on screen here if you're so inclined. It's like living in the future! We all agreed the spirit of Adelaide, for many years the manual-pairer, was guiding the whole thing and making it work.

Reigning champion Guy Plowman couldn't make it due to an incident with a deer and his car, but we had Imre Leader with, as the BOF website puts it, "almost uncountable British Championships to his name" (it's true - you run out of fingers and have to take both shoes and socks off to count on your toes, which isn't always convenient in polite society), plus multiple-winner Joel Feinstein (you still need the fingers of both hands for him, but the shoes can stay on), and others including young Lithuanian superstar Marius Juodelė, who was a hot favourite after winning other competitions all over the place in recent years.

I myself played pretty terribly all round. Actually, the only two games I was really happy with were two I lost, against Imre and Bruce Kyte. It's not like I was in with a chance of winning either of them at any point, but they were thrilling and entertaining games that were close and a lot of fun to play. Bruce, though, was the one who set the early pace, being the only one on three points after three rounds. The ranking list was always tight and exciting all the way through, with no runaway leader. I was never in contention, but plenty of other people were in with a chance of making the final or the 3rd/4th place play-off.

On Saturday night we went to the really great Persia restaurant in Newcastle, which I heartily recommend. It could become a Newcastle othello tradition, like the Indian meal in Cambridge that's an essential part of the events there!

The final ended up as Imre vs Marius (who was fractionally ahead of Joel on Brightwell Quotient tie-break score - another thing that makes you very thankful it didn't have to be calculated manually!), with Joel vs Bruce for 3rd place, and it ended up with Marius winning his first British Championship title! Bruce secured third place, and a good time was had by all!



So another name is added to the roll of honour and at least theoretically to the trophy (I forget whether the trophy has names on it, or whether I'm confusing it with the European one - I don't tend to win these trophies, you see, and the British one is still with Guy the last I heard. If it does have names on it, an almost uncountable number of years' winners doubtless need to be updated). I still have it on my bucket-list to get my name on this list one day, although I haven't yet formed any concrete plans as to how to go about it.

1977

Alan Woch

1978

Geoff Davidson

1979

Alan Woch

1980

Neil Cogle

1981

John Parker

1982

David Stephenson

1983

Imre Leader

1984

David Sharman

1985

Neil Stephenson

1986

Imre Leader

1987

Peter Bhagat

1988

Graham Brightwell

1989

Joel Feinstein

1990

Imre Leader

1991

Joel Feinstein

1992

Joel Feinstein

1993

Joel Feinstein

1994

Imre Leader

1995

Graham Brightwell

1996

Joel Feinstein

1997

Joel Feinstein

1998

Graham Brightwell

1999

Imre Leader

2000

Graham Brightwell

2001

Imre Leader

2002

Garry Edmead

2003

Garry Edmead

2004

Imre Leader

2005

Imre Leader

2006

Graham Brightwell

2007

Imre Leader

2008

David Hand

2009

Michael Handel

2010

Imre Leader

2011

Guy Plowman

2012

Borja Moreno

2013

David Hand

2014

Guy Plowman

2015

Imre Leader

2016

Imre Leader

2017

Imre Leader

2018

Imre Leader

2019

Imre Leader

2020

Covid-19

2021

David Hand

2022

Imre Leader

2023

Guy Plowman

2024

Marius Juodelė